Should I keep myself in the dark from her family or not?

I've been dating my girlfriend for almost 2 years soon next month, i kinda want to settle with her down the road later and we love each other very much. Bad problem is , she's been keeping our relationship hidden from her family since the beginning, i understand at first because her family especially her father is a bit racist (I'm black and she's asian). So its been close to 2 years, she's met my entire family and friends yet she expects me to keep being in the dark with our entire relationship. I can't pick her up on dates, we can't go to certain places in fear of her family finding out or whatever because it might jeopardize her family relationships.

Im not saying i have to meet them but i rather not do in the dark thing anymore, I'm too old for it and i feel uncomfortable at this point. what should i do?
  • keep hidden for her.
    Vote A
  • no don't
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's time to face the music

    I know Asians tend to be really endothermic and she's afraid of her parents disapproval and consequences

    Consequences: family shame because you're black, I hate to say it but Asian culture isn't color friendly
    They'll probably try to make her choose and/or threating to disown her or cut her funds

    Depending her specific culture/group it can be less or more extreme but by continuing to let yourself be hiding your basically setting yourself up to be hurt

    Because eventually there will be pressure about marriage, BF/GF, suitor they'll probably be expecting a nice Asian guy to walk through the door, if her parents are super traditional they may even find one for her then she'll have to decide

    The fact that she's keeping it hidden this long is not a good sign.
    Unless of course she's graduating soon and will be financially independent soon waiting will make no difference

    She'll still be in the same situation at 18 as she is at 24 if not worse because eventually there will be family pressure to date/marry


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think after two years, and with your plans, you are getting to point where if her family will act that way, she is going to have to choose them, or to at least make them angry by keep dating you. It is sucky, but for you two, it may be something that has to to happen. Good for you for waiting this long and being understanding with her, but sooner or later, it needs to happen, I personally say 2 years is that time.


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What Girls Said 2

  • just be straight up about relationship, hiding it , makes it stressful for you both# family are not always going to be happy, your love takes precedence.

  • 2 years is long, leave if she won't confront her family


What Guys Said 2

  • 2 years!!
    What the hell you're waiting for

    Okay at least her sisters or her mother..
    Someone has to know

  • i guess if u wanna settle down with her... yer family should know basically...:-/


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