How can I get a date?

Hey guys, I hope you can give me some suggestions because I'm all out of ideas. I just can't get a date.

I have no problems with shyness or anything, in fact I'm really outgoing. Unfortunately I don't have any friends to go out to clubs etc with where I live so that makes the bars and clubs scene pretty hard. I've even tried going along on my own but I just felt like I was weird.

I've joined a gym to get fit as well as to meet people. I go to the gym most nights and chat to loads of guys there but every time I try to start a conversation with a girl they just don't seem to want to talk. It's understandable if they are self conscious in the gym, I guess.

I've tried a couple of dating sites over the last few months but have found that although I've always taken care to write polite, friendly and hopefully funny messages, virtually none of them have been replied to.

Seriously guys, there's nothing wrong with the way I look, I'm really outgoing, polite and well turned out. I'm in the UK, where people are quite a lot more reserved than in some places but still you'd think someone would like date or even just a chat! What else can I try?

Sorry if this all sounds a bit negative but I'm really right out of ideas and I feel like I've tried everything I can think of again and again.

Thanks guys!


Most Helpful Girl

  • Most girls just want to exercise at the gym and don't like getting hit on. What works for me for meeting new people is doing stuff where people are there to socialize and where they show up regularly, no matter how dorky it seems.

    So for example, go to a pub quizz, go salsa dancing lessons/club, join a soccer team. Volunteer to clean up the local park with whatever charity does that kind of stuff where you live. If you have friends who like cooking, start getting together with them regularly and take turns to make food. Get them to invite single people they know. You can invite single girls you meet at the gym/salsa/wherever; they will be more inclined to date you in a group situation if they don't know you. Good luck!


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What Girls Said 1

  • I'm new in a city all alone so the way I've started talking to guys is from online dating sites even though I'm not really looking for a relationship. I think the key to those sites for guys is to be completely honest but not too "nice" and "polite" these are the guys girls ignore and walk all over. You gotta be completely blunt and say what you want and that you just wanna chill meet up with some people and whatnot. Don't be too nice and complimenting to them. to an extent, but really, its online, you can work your ego lol.


What Guys Said 1

  • Annette couldn't have said it better. I know when I go to the gym I don't like to socialize much. What you can do though is join a few classes at your gym. You can meet women that way. And even though bars and lounges usually suck when you're alone, I had a lot of luck doing that. I met a girl there who was waiting for her date to show up. He was a jerk and I ended up becoming her date. So you never know. You just have to go and put yourself out there.