I am involved with a very confusing man. I can't read him and I'm not sure whether I should just cut and run?

We met on a dating site. Right from the start it was intense and I was clear that I wasn't looking for a relationship, more friends with benefits and he agreed that's all it would be too. He is 12 years younger than me and I'm quite upfront.

We had amazing chemistry and although we lived far apart would text for hours at a time. He confessed before we had sex that he suffered from premature ejaculation but I reassured him that this wasn't a problem and actually performance wise it never did cause a problem. We would get together once or twice a week and it was really exciting but we were both still on the site and because I felt so insecure I would moan to him and eventually felt so crappy that I lashed out admitting I'd been on a few dates (because I thought he would have to) which led to him saying he hadn't but that he would now! I think I might have hurt him then. From that he proposed we stay friends. He said I was his best sex ever and initially I had a few sexual texts which I laughed off as we were now friends.

I later found out that he has a rather heavy coke habit, which would explain the mood swings that he would have. But I told him I'm not bearing the brunt of that now and he's stopped taking his come downs out on me. He responds to my texts quickly and seems interested in my life.

We're still texting every day and we said we would go out for a drink but nothing has been agreed yet. He occasionally asks if I'm seeing someone (I'm not) and if I ask back he says he's not either. It all feels a bit awkward to talk about any relationships we might be having.

He is impossible to read. So my main question is, why would he want to stay friends? Because if I'm honest I'm only doing it in the hope I might lure him back into a sexual relationship. I'm worried he is only staying in touch until he A) finds something better B) is worried I might go mental if he cuts me out C) something completely different.

Guys perspective please!!!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Stop wasting your life on a drug addict. They are usually near impossible to understand, be with, or deal with. Then there's the whole lying issue they will have, trying to appear/be a functional addict. The whole thing becomes a futile, and you are only in it for the good sex? Do yourself a favor and move on.


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What Guys Said 2

  • c) He is waiting for you to kinda ask him out for the same kind of relationship u earlier had. Also option (A) can always be a small probability, but I do not know him, And since he seems interested in u and texts quickly, and given his coke habit, It is highly unlikely he would find a better arrangement compared with the one he has with you.

  • I would cut and run from another guys perspective. If u want a friends with benefits try someone that is not 12 years. younger. try someone more emotionally secure despite coke habits it may have something to do with age/maturity.


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