Girls, bit of a weird one. What should I do?

So me and this girl at uni have been getting on really well recently. We've been on a few dates that have been great and we've slept together a few times too. The only problem is that she doesn't want to 'put a label' on us. She broke up with her boyfriend of 5 years a few months ago and claims she needs time to get over it. I can totally understand where she is coming from but the other problem is she's going on a year abroad in September.
This really fucking sucks. I want more than anything to make the most of the time she has left before she goes away, but I feel that she won't be ready to commit to anything concrete in that time-frame.
It's more than just friends with benefits if that crossed your minds. We talk all the time and it's just messing with me because I have absolutely no idea what to do. Any help will be really truly appreciated!
Should I at least ask what she wants?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly, it sounds like you're a rebound to her.
    I'm in the same situation as her, I got out of a two year relationship recently, and as much as I like a guy, I panic every time I feel like it's getting too serious.

    In my opinion, it would be a mistake to ask her what she wants, because you might not like the answer, and you'll be putting even more pressure on her. The only thing that can work now is to remove the pressure completely.

    Talk to her on a daily basis, make her laugh, make her feel beautiful and smart and amazing, but without looking like you're expecting a commitment in return. It will kind of force her to let her guard down and be more relaxed around you. There is no way you're getting a commitment if her guard is still up. A girl in this state of mind will feel smothered with the least bit of expectations. But as soon as she stops feeling threatened, she'll be more comfortable and more open to develop feelings.

    I'm saying this from personal experience, but I'm aware that not everyone thinks the same way. I'm just the typical girl with commitment issues right now, so I'm telling you what would work on me :) hope it helps


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What Girls Said 4

  • Yes have a talk with her to find out exactly where she stands in all this. And a 5 year relationship will take serious time to get over. Before she has a new relationship she will most likely experiment with what she wants before she settles down with someone new.

  • I don't think she really wants you as anything more than friends with benefits to be honest /:

    • Sorry I had to figure out how to reply :') should I ask what she really wants? I don't want to get messed about and waste my time.

  • Putting labels is a hard decision just give her time to decide on stuff and know you better

  • Don't let her be the driver of the train, take controle if you wanna know. It's absolutely nothing wrong with asking her. Think about yourself and that you are wondering and wan't an answere. But first before you get her answere- you have to know what you want. Do you still want to hang out with her eventhough she says it's not anything more then friends with benefits? No matter what she answeres it's gonna be nice for you to just know


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