Long story short partners group of friend's still hang around with her exs so I put my foot down. Am I wrong or fair?

I we stoped hanging out with her friend's because of it. Now i feel like she has none. She doesn't seem miserable but meh.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it's fair if they were expecting you to all hang out together, because that's not very considerate of either of your feelings. But if her friends were hanging out with her exs without you or her present then that doesn't seem fair. If they're not bringing that person into your lives then you have really no right to dictate who they can be friends with.
    I'd just make sure to get your partner some friends, because everyone needs friends to hang with, after a while their could be problems in your relationship because she's become too dependent on you or just bitter about not having the active social life she used to have.

    • Thanks for understanding and i thought i was going crazy like how could they and her even expect that to be a normal situation it made me mad she didn't understand at first but i guess there's just two types of people. Would love to hear your feelings towards it if it were you? 😊

    • I understand it from the friends perspective, no-one wants to have to take sides... but trying to force the current partner to hang out with an ex is complicated. If I was in your shoes i'd feel the same as you. It would be very awkward and make me feel insecure. If it was my ex i'd try to work out ways to still see my friends while avoiding him. It would be important though for you to communicate to her that this isn't an issue of trust, that it's not that you don't trust her but that given who this person once was in her life it makes you uncomfortable and feel bad basically. Good luck it's a difficult situation.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Hey, you're from New Zealand too. Welcome to GaG :).

    You could just encourage her to join clubs or a sports team?

    • Thanks :-) yeah your bang on we just decided to start playing badminton together

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    • I'm from Auckland :), what about you?

    • Hamilton :-)

What Guys Said 1

  • Did you force her not to see her friends because the ex is there?

    • Nope just told her im not overly stoaked about her still seeing them so everytime they invite us to something she just asks if there going to be there. Unfortunately it made her miss out on a wedding an new years gatherings etc but thats just the way it is

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