Hook up to dating? How can I make this summer situation work?

I've been seeing a guy for about 6 months now on and off. When we first met we hung out a lot- no sex. Just friends. We became pretty close, but then I got really busy with track in the spring semester so I didn't have the time to see him much. When track was over, we started hanging out again, but this time it was sort of a different relationship: we'd talk for a while, end up having sex, and then he'd just stay hangout/sleep over. Lately he has been pretty busy and we haven't seen each other much. When we do, its usually when we're at bars or parties and we end up going home together and just cuddling and going to bed.
At first I thought we were just hooking up and that was the bottom line... but both him and I have mentioned having feelings for each other. He told me the other day he wants to "date me", but that its impossible to do so right now because we'll be 3 hours apart for the next two months and busy with our crazy lives. It's evident that he has kind of given up chasing me (has stopped texting, hanging out with me) because he feels it won't work and doesn't want to be tied down to someone so far away.
I feel heartbroken in a way because I really want to date him and have this be more than it is right now. Is there anyway to make this work or will it be too complicated? What could I say to him that might change his mind?
Thanks for your opinions.


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What Guys Said 1

  • seems like u r both honest actually

    ok then... anyway, i assume he stopped chasin u, coz he wants u to chase him back. it's a verry common tactic :)


What Girls Said 1

  • I would say, to focus on your crazy life... and then AFTER you are in a more settled position, to reach out to him again and see if you can't make something work.

    Obviously something was there, but that doesn't mean it was meant to be and you can just appreciate it for what it was.

    It's far more important to focus on getting yourself on track in your younger years, and then when you are more stable, focus on guys. It's not worth the hassle to juggle a relationship on top of crazy schedules and it's not fair to either of you.

    If it's meant to be, things will work out AFTER you get your ducks in a row. Friends always make the best relationships, so I'd definitely try to maintain the friendship at least and then focus on making it more when your lives have calmed down.


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