Hye guys. I'm an Asian male, about 5'7 and I'm about 165lbs. And I have a hell of a time trying to get a girlfriend.
I've tried everything. Believe me. I've tried working out, following a proper diet and exercise program. I've changed my wardrobe, I've gotten a better haircut. I've worked hard at studies and now have a good job with good pay. I've had to work on my social skills and become much more sociable in the last couple years. But STILL, I can't seem to get any girls. I'm not that Asian guy who only wants skinny Asian or white girls either. I 'm open to girls of any race. I don't think I'm good looking but I don't think I'm ugly either.
Don't really know what to do at this point. At first I thought if I could just overcome my insecurities and get a good job girls would like me, but this doesn't seem to be the case.
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Most Helpful Guy
Asian guys do have a harder time dating, but it's not impossible.
When I read what you've written, I sense a whole bunch of core belief issues, so I'll address as many as I can.
1.) You believe that being Asian is a factor, and while it IS a factor for a significant percentage of girls out there, it ISN'T a factor for EVERY girl you come into contact with. You need to develop the core belief that the girl you are speaking with ISN'T holding your Asianness against you.
2.) "I'm not that Asian guy who only wants skinny Asian or white girls either." Sounds like you don't have high standards. If you don't have high standards, then it means that you'd settle for any girl. No girl wants to be just any girl. Have higher standards, and that way, girls will feel more special that you've chosen them.
3.) "I've tried everything". No. You haven't. If you had, you would have a girlfriend by now. You have tried everything you think is important to women. Guess what? Even women don't know what women want, and you've been focusing on all the wrong things. Forget what other women and romcoms will tell you about being attractive, and instead observe the behavior of men who have success with women. Do what works!
4.) No, you haven't overcome your insecurities. You're tying up too much of your self worth with having a date. Guess what? Girls don't like guys who put them on a pedestal even before they've met. Go live an interesting life. Do interesting things. Develop real passion for your own hobbies, and the girls will sense your passion for life and come find you.
Worst case scenario? Go travel. Women love travellers.1