Would dumping someone for favoring spanking as a parenting method be harsh?

I've decided that this would be my new deal-breaker and have my own personal reasons I don't really care to discuss. Personally, I don't believe in that form of parenting method nor slapping a child in the face for only words but whatever suits you.

I don't think there is any way I would be able to continue to date a man that favors that. Sure... I don't want kids but what if I see him spanking a newphew of his or small child and I don't like it nor want to see that? I would be basically powerless in that situation.

  • Not really, I'm not in favor either and it's just another dating preference
    Vote A
  • Yes, that's harsh and there can still be a compromise
    Vote B
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Updates:
Update: Well thank you all for sharing your views. I'm firm on keeping this as a deal-breaker. If he's not on the same page with me on this topic, I'm dumping him.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I voted A and I feel the same way.

    I don't plan on having kids but the thought he'd ever even hit a child would disgust me.

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    • Yeah I don't understand what getting hit as a child actually teaches you besides an ''Oh I never not do this or else my mom/dad gonna smack me''. You're not learning because it was wrong and are making better chooses but rather just out of fear.

    • choices

    • Exactly. I think it also teaches violence is okay and a good way to solve problems. It's just stupid. Why would you want you child to fear you?

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What Guys Said 13

  • No. Tell him if he lays his hands on your or kids you'll shoot his ass, and mean it.

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    • Thanks... will keep that in mind.

  • Would it be harsh? I don't think so, no. Slapping across the face is not a punishment to me, it's just an expression of anger at that point.

    Anyway, harsh or not, this is your belief and you're entitled to it.

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  • Physical education is sometimes necessary, you can't be this soft. As long as it doesn't turn into abuse.

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    • Just because someone chooses not to spank doesn't necessarily mean they're all soft and have no rules at all. Being soft is really when someone does absolutely nothing.

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    • Nope, I never understood its purpose even as a kid. Now, many years later and I still don't. All I ever learned was that an adult (esp the father, an important part of a young girl's life) can lay a hand on you in frustration and you're only obeying out of fear.
      Also, being spanked with a belt for not understanding a math homework and getting the answers wrong. Again, all you learn is to associate it with fear and it makes you hate math for endless years.

    • That is unfortunate, but what you are describing is abuse, it has nothing to do with education.

  • I voted A) primarily because saying you approve of spanking shows that you partly condone physical abuse of children, and I wouldn't want to date someone who sees children as a means to release some everyday stress.

    Then again, under a certain age (years of 5), a tiny slap on the butt should get the point across if nothing else works. I mean, some kids don't take compromise either. But beating someone with a belt and stuff? That's just insane. I am not even sure how anyone even managed to come up with the idea. No wonder so many people have emotional problems, anxiety, dread.

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    • Exactly... I can't think of anything productive that child will learn by threatening him/her with a belt or using it (even worse... if done out of frustration).

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    • Well I guess we define things differently I would call that corporal punishment. I just thought u guys were part of the nanny brigade my bad

    • @Jaydog666, no I had no nanny. I'm a hispanic woman that turned against that methods. Yes, I was spanked as a small child by my father and nope... I learned nothing but fear. I hate it.

  • Spanking as a corrective measure is not abuse in my opinion. How ever there is a difference in spanking and beating , how ever fine a line you choose to draw to differentiate the two

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  • It's not harsh at all, Im also against spanking a kid and would never do it. It would be a deal breaker for me too. I get very angry when parents smack their kids.

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    • Yeah all I get is that the child is only obeying out of fear and not actually learning to make better choices.

  • If you can't agree on how to discipline the children that's going to be a major problem down the road. Anyway I'd be very dubious about someone who thinks spanking kids is a good and effective means of discipline.

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  • I mean it is your preference in the end, so that is fine.

    Though I think spanking is not the worst thing in the world... I have seen too many kids with no discipline nowadays. I may not spank myself, but we as a society need to be better at shaming out kids, I think many lack a sense of shame. for instance, if I was out with my parents, say at dinner. If I was crying or acting up, my dad would take me outside until I calmed down and would tell me that is disrespectful to others, an now I am very empathetic because of lessons such as this. Naturally if I was being ultra bad a bit of an arm squeeze or spank was not the worst thing in the world...

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  • The choice on that stuff isn't entirely yours when you have children with someone. Parenting is a 2 person thing.

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    • In which is why I is best selecting a guy that's on the same page as me on this topic.

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    • Yelling is wrong and can be just as damaging, technically that would be classified as verbal/emotional abuse. I would think the parent isn't very effective. There is a reason why there are child psychologists available too.

    • Yeah, piss poor parenting is one of them. The best parenting is a delicate balance between physical and non physical consequences.

  • Not really, I'm not in favor either and it's just another dating preference

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What Girls Said 1

  • Well, it's fine to have standards. That does sound a bit extreme but if it's really something that you just don't agree with and aren't willing to compromise on, I guess that's that.

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