In love with my friend who rejected me.. but she used to like me too before?

This is slightly complicated as I have never felt this way ever... in the pursuit of finding someone who is compatible to me I stumbled upon this girl... we became good friends and started hanging out... then a few common friends started seeing the things we shared in common... and started telling me I should ask her out etc... I avoided it for quite a while as I didn't see her in that way but it all changed one day when I was supposed to meet a friend of hers I met at her birthday... me and her friend went out on a date and when she asked if I wanted to go back to her place... I just couldn't... it was like a sudden realisation that I actually like my friend... I soon started pursuing that thought and at a point she too started having feelings for me then suddenly one day it all went wrong. ... I guess I came on too strong and she backed off saying it will never work... everything went crashing downward for me for months I tried to have a chat with her it didn't work... finally after 4 months I met her for a movie with the 2 friends that knew I like her... everything went smoothly we tried to not keep it awkward... and succeded in it as well... now the major problem is I thought I was done but something in me keeps saying try again as she is the one... now I am confused as hell as to what to do... I mean I want to be with her... there are many factors as well that surround it... hell she knows me better than my family does... my best friend also does not know things that she does... I was that comfortable with her... my question is how do I go about making it work for me... I really do not want to get pushed away again... I want to make the odds in my favour. ... Please help as too how I go about it... P. S I don't think I am good looking or anything else (I have been called fugly a long time ago by a girl I liked in school) so I know that for a fact... I am somehow charming sweet romantic etc... so I have been told by a lot of women (friends mostly) so please advise?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think that as far as looks go, you should be fine if you're healthy and keep yourself well-groomed. Personality is really what matters, especially as people grow older, so if you have a good personality, that's a big plus. If the girl liked you before, there's a good chance she'll like you again (personal experience). But, I would take it more slowly than before, since that's the only reason she seemed to be put off before. Start out rebuilding your friendship, then slowly go where you want to go, dropping subtly hints and giving her plenty of chances to decide before making any big moves, so that she is not intimidated.

    • Thanks for the boost of confidence :)... I need to take it slow for sure now I just need to know how to judge the pace... I am bad at that... but honestly speaking how fast is too fast and how slow is too slow?

    • Honestly speaking, it really just depends on the person and situation. In your shoes, I would try to figure out the exact point at which she felt like it was too much / too fast, and compare it to when you thought things were going well. Depending on that, you'd probably be able to make a good judgement.

      Also, I hate to ask on your post, but I really need some good advice, and you seem like a thoughtful person, so would you mind helping me out with my problem if you can, please? (the question should be on my profile; it's about if a guy stares at you without smiling etc.)

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • try to get her again!


What Guys Said 1

  • oh man... guess it's up to her 2 change her mind, but still i don't think so...

    is she single now?

    • Yes it is up to her to change her mind... but I believe an effort needs to be put in... I just don't know how to. .. the last time it took a lot of effort as well... This time it is just like a different level... if you play games you can relate... yeah she is single!!