Asking a girl what she wants?

Short bit of context:
We matched on tinder (I dont use it for dating at all, just fun). Small exchange and she gave me her number. We texted for a week or so and I asked her out, we had a great first date, talked for like 3-4 hours and seemed to hit it off well. I got her to accept a second date and through some finagling and rescheduling the date we are going for a walk on the beach tonight.

So for the main reason of this thread. On her tinder profile it said "looking for casual fun", but I didn't get that impression from her on our first date and I want to know if I should and how I should ask her what she's looking for, either a relationship or something casual, but I dont know how to do it. (Never been in a friends with benefits scenario, and dont really wanna be) I ask because I finally have started getting my life together and id be down for something with a little comittment and she seems like a great gal.

Anyways, opinions appreciated.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm confused.

    You say you don't use Tinder for dating. You then go on a date with a girl from Tinder, who has stated on her profile that she is just looking for casual fun.

    You then state you aren't interested in being friends with benefits, but looking for something more serious, and you have the feeling she might have the same inclination.

    I have to say you sound a bit confused about what you want, and there is a risk that you are reading something into her behavior that is not there. Most women I have met are a lot more certain of what they want than guys. And they don't lie about it.

    So unless she clearly tells you she is falling for you, I wouldn't make any assumptions.

    But you could always just bring up the topic of future plans and relationships etc. That way you can both casually exchange ideas without you having to "interrogate" her.

    • Yeah your right. We chatted a while tonight but only dove briefly into the whole "relationship thing". She just said she wasn't looking for anything super serious as she just got out of a long relationship. And I guess im cool with that, she seems cool enough and I guess I dig the idea of casual dating, and down the road if things click, maybe id try to escalate things, I don't know ill probably talk to her more about it next time we get together and get a clearer understanding, she seems really really open, so that helps. Also, next time will be our 3rd date, if she's looking for casual dating, should I expect to be doing some P2V action?

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Sounds like she doesn't want a relationship.


What Guys Said 2

  • Along the lines you phrased the question sound very appropriate for the question you want to ask her.

  • she was honest i guess... she wants casual sex! :)

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