How do you get over approach anxiety?

there is a lot of advice on the internet saying that if you want to conquer approach anxiety, you have to just approach a lot of women until it goes away completely. what these people don't realize is that the whole point of approach anxiety is that it prevents you from approaching anyone, which makes their advice the dumbest advice ever. does anyone know any real ways to get over approach anxiety?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hey man! Don't worry you're not alone, I used to have the exact same problem as you did. Everytime I saw a girl that was attractive, I would sort of enter a stage of paralysis where I'm so hesitant to approach her that I die the f*** out 😂

    But now? No problem at all. Confidence is 👌 and I can basically approach anyone that I feel like. This technique will not only help you with talking to girls, but ANYONE, doesn't matter if it's your boss, your president etc.

    So first, start off by changing your beliefs system because it looks like you have trouble with confidence. How you think is how you behave (psychologically, scientifically proven), so I know that there is obviously something in your belief system that is telling you that you're not enough. What you need to do is:

    1. Identify the belief (I'm not hot enough)

    2. Question the belief and prove it wrong (If I'm really not hot enough, why have I had no trouble with girls? Etc.)

    3. Replace that belief with a new one that places you higher (I am actually attractive and I have the potential to slay)

    4. Keep testing and reassuring that belief , soon, it would be so strong that it would be unbreakable. (Bragging to others, proving to yourself in various ways)

    This is a long process, but once you get this going, it's gonna be a leap that gets you to take off.

    The second part is the much easier part.

    Start off by talking to literally anyone you can find, it can be your mom, dad, granny, aunt, teacher, stranger on the street, your dog or even a ghost 😂 like anyone you can find I don't give a sh*t who it is just start a conversation and keep it going. Keep doing this every single day, hour, minute and naturally you'd start getting used to talking to everyone and it's like a natural thing you do. You won't find any difficulties or excuses that would stop you in the future because this is the person you've become, you talk to everyone! So it won't matter if she's hot/out of your league etc.

    Trust me, these worked wonders for me and will probably be the best advice you'd ever get on this site.

    Source (s):
    Personal Experience
    Proven scientific research of psychology
    Expert adviser

    • don't you think i've come across and tried stuff like this already? this bullshit would never work for me

    • This stuff takes time. You don't get over approach anxiety overnight. You'll never even get close to overcoming it with this sh*tty attitude of yours, pull yourself together, success doesn't just come to you, you have to work at it.

      Everyone who has done this and tried this and commited themselves fully has gotten over their approach anxiety.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I go for a run. And then I tell myself that If I really like this person and want to potentially be with them, I gotta get to know them first which means approaching them, and If I don't do this nothing is gonna happen. So, If I really like them enough (physically or personality-wise) I will make myself approach them.

    • that wouldn't work for me, because the more i like them the harder it is for me to approach. but even approach a girl i barely find attractive is by no means a cakewalk

    • Show All
    • don't have an answer for that huh? interesing

    • i do actually, why in hell would you be offended by a girl who rejects you because she's an asshole? in that case, good i know what she's really like and i know to stay away from her cuz she's not for me. it would give me more confidence to approach women cuz i have an easy way to identify whos dating material and whos a stuck up jackass lol

  • Think positive.


What Guys Said 3

  • Been there. Try online dating. That way you can approach women online instead of face to face. Eventually you will have met so many women FTF that your approach anxiety will be gone.

    • online dating ain't for me bra. besides it doesn't work like that

  • By doing things dat cheer u up maybe?

  • Gotta be confident. Just pretend you're talking to a dude if you have to lol, it's really not that big of a deal to just introduce yourself and get to know her. If you are attractive any/all girls will let you talk.

    • do you think just saying hi to women i walk past for now would help my approach anxiety? im not sure but i might be able to do that much

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    • no, i can't introduce my self. that would take a lot. i mean literally just saying hi and then looking away, for now i mean.

    • You have to introduce yourself. You have to break out of your comfort zone. Face your fears dude.