Is he killing time?

So I have been dating this guy for about 5 months. In the first two months he found out this girl was pregnant by his baby and told me. She doesn't live here she lives in a different country. It was an ex girlfriend to whom he would see when he would go visit back home. He told me as soon as he found out because everything was going great between us and this had all happened before we met.

Me me and him were never official... but in a way we were. I would spend the night at his house. He would only see me. We would always go out. Anyway a month ago I broke things off with him. The due date is in 2 months. I could handle this situation if me and him were serious but he said he wanted to make things serious but couldn't because of the situation he is in. He didn't want to hurt me since he doesn't know what will happen when he sees his son. He will be going there for the labor. I asked him what his options were and he said he wanted to be with his son and if the mom didn't let him bring him to the United states he will. have to marry her and bring them both.

so we stopped talking then 2 weeks later for my birthday he asks if he can see me to give me a present. I say ok and we started talking again. I haven't really brought up the conversation since everything seems so good. I am so happy with him. I just don't know if he is using me to kill time while the baby is born or he actually cares about me.

I don't know if he has feelings for her but I feel like at some point he did. I don't want to end it and live with the what if but I also don't want to get hurt since it's already impossible to stop being with him. Since everything is perfect except that part. The baby and the girl.


Most Helpful Girl

  • "Me me and him were never official... but in a way we were."
    No, you weren't. If he never put a label on it, it was never official.

    NO ONE "kills time" with relationships. They're either dating you to have someone, to get sex, or because they're actually interested in getting serious. Guys can completely commit while never being serious. Why/how? Because they want all the perks without the commitment. If he's not planning to make you a wife, he'll dump you and spend single time to get his shit straight before going after the one he really wants, or when you start pushing for a ring/commitment. Not all men are like this, it's just that men are capable of being totally faithful and loyal, even if they plan to leave you at some point, or don't plan to marry you.

    I think this guy either already knew well in advance about the baby, and used it as an escape clause, or he was actually cheating on her with you. He's not going to give you any sort of guarantee, and you shouldn't wait around letting him use you in the meantime. End it.


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What Girls Said 2

  • You're really into one another but never became official... The problems in this situation are not limited to him having a kid and a baby mama.

    He won't commit even though you both like one another on some level, he still has something with this other girl, he's about to have a kid that you basically want him to run out on, and no one's feelings are completely clear. Would you accept months of waffling in a normal relationship? You deserve a guy who will be clearly all about YOU. Not whatever this is.

  • you should end it.

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