Please, help me to cut the emotional tie and other things.

Please, I can't take it anymore. I gave him his space, and he hasn't communicate with me. He told me that he is busy and that in order to go with him, I need to give him date and hour, but the last time, when we went out, he was only thinking in his own things and even he treat me in a cold way. I told him that the next time, he will be the one to organize the next going out, he told me that it was his turn to invite me the next time. Until now, I didn't get an answer. It seems that he will only go out with me if I ask him and organize it as always.

Now I got informed by another friend in mail that they want to organize a friends reunion. Because it was a mail that responded to another mails, I saw that he responded in the past and that he will be TOTALLY FREE for that day, that he will be focused in going there to remember to old times, this is the second reunion we make, even he told everyone (to the ones he contacted) that no one has to said that is busy and to make space to go (you know, the opposite of what he says to me).

Well, I don't like to got to the reunion because of what happened the last year that I got a nervous breakdown, however, I feel rather sad and totally betrayed because I feel he hasn't time for me, but of course, he has time for the others and his jobs. Maybe I am just exaggerating, but I can take feeling like this.

Now I have another problem, where I do professional practice, there is one of the friends who got informed about the reunion, so during the next days there would be the probability to get informed about it from him. I don't want to go, and of course if I say to him that I won't go because I will be busy, he would inform him about it and the next time I get in contact with him about why he doesn't invite me, he will give this as an excuse, that I am always busy and because I don't tell him (exactly what he does).

I want to tell him that of course he has time for the others, but for me no. That I want to go out, but just the two of us, however, he always seems busy when I am with him, but when you are with the others, he seems that he has the time of the whole world to be with them until the end. But if I tell him right now, he will tell me about the reunion, and then I will say no, and he will invert the whole thing, that I am the one who has no time and the one who doesn't want to go out.

I repeat, I wasn't sneaking in his mail or in his profile, I got inform about the reunion from another friend. I don't want to be possessive or jealous, I don't want to harass him so that's why I gave him his space (even more), but I am feeling very bad about it. What can I do?


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What Girls Said 1

  • you need chill out. guys don't like girls who aren't chilled out. when he's with you, he's with you. don't nag him or complain or moan because he'll think that you aren't fun. if you aren't fun to be around then he won't want to be around you. noone likes to be around someone who whines a lot. be funny, confident and affectionate.

    if you don't feel comfortable being at the reunion then don't go. so why should you be upset if he doesn't invite you to the reunion? I mean it's not like you want to go anyway because like you said last time you had a nervous breakdown. if your work colleague asks you if you're going, tell him you're not sure yet. just leave it at that. if your boyfriend asks you to go with him to the reunion, thank him for asking you then make an excuse that you have a family function then suggest another night. if he doesn't ask you, that's ok because you didn't want to go anyway, right?

    now about being with him just the two of you... you can't force a guy to do something. he's gotta want to do it. the more you push him to do it, the more you push him away. you're doing the right thing by giving him space. give him time to miss you. just wait for him to invite you out. and when you do go out, be a fun girlfriend.

    remember that he's your boyfriend, he's not your oxygen tank. you need to have hobbies too. go out with other friends too.

    • Thanks for your advice, but I got another problem, I send him by cell a message about if he was free the next weekend (as if I didn't know about the reunion), now I saw he send in email a message about the next reunion (but it wasn't that message specifically for me, it was for another friends also, a group message). The reunion is supposed to be the after the next weekend. And as for personality, I show him even my good and my bad personality, and he also has show his true self with me.

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    • BTW, thanks for telling me this, however, to be clear about it, I didn't want him to invite me to the reunion. I think that then I make the mistake of asking him if we could see the next weekend. Maybe I can retract me or not sending him more messages, what do you think?

    • Yeah just chill out. don't ask him anything. let him come back to you. give him time to miss you. even if it takes 3 weeks. sometimes men don't know what they have till it's gone. you're being too clingy and too oppressive. really chill out and I mean that. let him go to the reunion. leave him. have faith. no contact always works. he'll start to wonder why you haven't been in touch. I know it's hard but you have to be so strong and not get in touch.