Is it rude to not keep people updated about potential plans?

I'm seeing this guy. It bothers me when he doesn't keep me updated with plans. Like for example I invited him to do something and he said he might be able to, he has to see if he has to help a friend with something or not- but I haven't heard from him
Similar things have happened- he sucks at keeping in contact. Like its no big deal, but I'd prefer even a no to no contact at all.
I think it's rude and disrespectful but I don't know how to bring it up


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, it's a yes and a no.
    You can't expect that he tells you about everything. That will just make you look insecure, needy, and make you come off to strong. NOT good.
    But to not update you in the mentioned situation? Well, that would be reasonable to expect him to do. When was it you asked him, and at what time are you going to do the thing? That is relevant too

    • I don't want to be told about everything
      But if he asks me to do something or vise versa he doesn't update me if plans change
      I don't really want to chase the guy up with plans lol but I feel like an idiot just pretending I don't care
      Should I say something?

    • Show All
    • By the way we've never gone all the way together so he'd know sex was implied... Lol
      Weird much

    • hm... sounds like he could be just bad at making plans. But then again, at your age that's a skill he should have.
      So yeah, give him a chance to get back, and after that tell him that you need a guy you can rely on and that at least are clear in wether he comes or not (to use this situation as an example).
      Give him a chance to change if he really want to try, but don't be afraid to break up if he can't manage to change.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • it is-- a simple text or call to explain that you won't be able to go somewhere or do something goes a long way


What Girls Said 1

  • Is he not get used to contact people by social media (text messages or calls)?

    If not, I think u should leave him behind. I didn't mean to move on, but u may better to wait not to contact him at least for a week to see if I contact u back. Normally guys are like that, when they see that u are chasing them, they become not that interested even they may like u

    • to see if he* contact u back

    • He doesn't like messages and social media
      But we do talk in messages
      And I feel like it's common courtesy

      And yeah. When I back off he's more keen it's annoying.
      I guess I'll back off and if I end up seeing him again I'll casually bring it up

    • I messaged him and said I take that as a no? Have a good night
      He replied after a while with yeah I can't tonight sorry boo

      I don't know if I should back off or if it's all fine and I should reply. What do you think?

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