I've known this girl for, like, a year or two. We never really talked much, but I used to be a lot more willing and open to just talking casually. However, now that I'm into her, things have changed. I don't know what to say, because I'm too scared to make an idiot of myself all the time. This didn't even used to happen with girls, this really started after the last girl I really liked (liked, not dated) which destroyed my self-esteem, and happiness to boot. Then various girls I knew and went on dates with turned me down. So now, my confidence is shot. I can barely socialize with girls or even people in general anymore because, by now, I just feel emotions too differently to really care anymore. The thing is, I'm so reluctant to even talk to her that I feel I'm running out of time, and I'm getting angry with myself over it. I'm just suck of hearing how I'm not good enough for anyone, I'm afraid she'll just think I'm a loser, a nobody. How do I get over my fear? I shouldn't be scared, so how do I stop being scared?
Most Helpful Girl
That is rough, i'm sorry you had to go through that :'(
I think what you need to remember is that she's just a person; same as all the humans you hate haha :') . She's not more deserving or less scared of getting hurt or more assured than you are; she's a person like everyone else and she should feel lucky that somebody cares for her so much.
If you like her and you're friends then I think it's safe for me to assume she's not a horrible person and she's not going to want to hurt you. So if you tell her you like her and she feels the same, that will be great and problem solved really. If you tell her and she doesn't feel the same she's not going to want to make it a horrible experience; so the worst that could happen is she'll tell you she's very flattered that someone so nice has feelings for her but she doesn't really see you that way. Which would hurt, sure; but it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.
As far as making an idiot of yourself goes; there's quite a small number of embarrassing things you could actually do that would make her reject you rather than relating to what it's like to be awkward; because we're all unsure and awkward sometimes. And most of us are too busy worrying about how we're being perceived to really notice other people's screw-ups that much :') . If she likes you back, I think there's quite a lot you could get away with in terms of looking like an idiot :') .
Remember that no matter what happens you are absolutely not a loser, and you do deserve someone who likes you back :') . I hope that person is this girl :) . But if not, that's just another step closer to the person you will be happy with really. *hugs* and good luck :)0