I'm getting angry about my past?

22 year old girl.

Grew up pretty isolated , no dating, barely any friends, no sex, no partying no nothing. It also has to do with the fact that i had to wear a back brace for 4,5 years day and night due to my scoliosis but my mom was also sheltering and anti social from time to time. At the age of 22 i have A HARD TIME dealing with people, im 22 and i feel like i MISSED out i feel like i can't behave like a normal person, like im a ticking time bomb, i disorganized because i want to do so much, i feel like i might explode, i almost had sex with guys i dont know, i keep talking in class, which is distracting me from my school work, i keep feeling like the grass is greener on the other side. What can i do? im so angry i can't focus anymore at school?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Start going out... well it seems to be pretty obvious solution but once you start seeing people you will feel open... People like meeting new people and once you met a crowd who is willing to get to know you, you will feel comfortable...
    You said you grew up isolated.. Well pretty much we all have some bad history... its not only you...
    Just find what you are good at... drawing.. singing, some hobby... start going for the gym.. workout.. buy a pet.. drink.. eat various food... take a trip... go to another country... Trust me... once you get busy with stuff it will go off not knowingly... Well you said you have school but you can skip one day or take a weekend... go to a community service... or a charity service... get busy..
    Start selfmotivating your self... every morning look in to the mirror and think about your future.. if you don't have a start... just plan what your going to do next.. Take a shower or go have breakfast.. Then what's after that.. and go on... think about Tue future.. not the present.. You can make it.
    Good luck.
    Cheers ^^


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What Guys Said 6

  • Well, I didn't really hone my social skills until my mid to late 20's, and I only did because I made it a project -- a goal. Anyway, even at 36 I'm absorbing new cool changes to myself, so this leads me to the first point:

    1. You are never too old to learn or experience things.

    Now that we got that out of the way, while it DOES suck that you were oversheltered, there is no reason for you to dwell on it. As it turns out, most of us have a wrench thrown at our life in one way or another, maybe in different areas, but everyone is grappling with something.

    My suggestion is you organize yourself a bit: Create a list of things you want to do, and don't be outrageous (so while climbing Mt. Everest is an interesting goal, unless you are interested in professional mountain climbing you probably shouldn't write it down) -- pick things you CAN do, or are somewhat close to your area of reach.

    Then do them!

    You should be happier afterwards.

  • I don't know how much does this count for or if it's even an option... but... you don't have to die where you are born.

    • what do you mean

    • You're living in the shadow of your past.
      Everything you see everyday , has a history.
      Maybe it's time to go somewhere else and make some new history.

    • I knew it worked for me lol

  • I can relate quite a lot.

    Some pretty good advice:

    Instead of trying to "fix" yourself/your life, focus on your objective in life:

    1) Where do I wanna get?

    2) Where am I now?

    3) What is standing between who I am now or where I am now and where I wanna get?

    If nothing is standing in your way, go get it! Otherwise, deal with the obstacles.

    I stole this from this podcast:

    Based on years of rather unsuccessful therapy, I think it is great, great advice. We all have, to a varying degree, issues from our past. But spending our entire life trying to "fix" them is unfocused.

    All the best :)

  • They may not admit it, but most people grew up to regret not living life the way your describing it. That is exactly how I was. Never partied, never had sex, never did wild crazy things. But most the people I know who lived this way when they were younger, now have pretty screwed up lives, and all their relationships fail, and yet have babies.

  • Make some friends first. It's best to build a social circle first before dating. You could meet a guy that might click with you along the process of building one.

  • find a guy. i have the same problem. i am turning 24 and never had a girlfriend...


What Girls Said 1

  • you must try to make some friends first