I'm confused.

So, we are now at the hanging out exclusively stage... he went through phases of not talking to me for a while then talking again, but then every day last week... he sends me adorably sweet texts and calls me, telling me he has butterflies now. This made me incredibly happy, but he doesn't want to date... yet? I'm not sure when they broke up or many details, but he seems scared to be in a relationship again and I'm just wondering if I'm wasting my time waiting for him. We're both pretty into each other, and I'm not trying for anything too serious... but how long should it take for him to realize I'm not her, I'm not a lunatic, and I'm not going to hurt him like she did? I've tried sharing one of my past relationships with him like he shared this one with me, sharing the facts that they were both pretty crazy. What can I do or say that will make him know I understand. I get that he isn't ready, but I'm getting attached and I will wait as long as he needs... but not if I'm thrown to the side, that just compromises my trust in guys and I could end up just as scared as he is.

  • Give him time.
    Vote A
  • Let him free.
    Vote B
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I really appreciate the advice, thank you! I'm taking it. I tend to go with my head instead of my heart and if I listen to you guys, I'll be following my heart. <3


Most Helpful Girl

  • I like this guy. You should keep him, I think. He's scared of being in another relationship. Give him time to trust you and constantly assure him that you won't leave him by planning things for the future. And if you really like him, and you know he likes you, what's the point of rushing it? He knows that your not her, because he shows it to you through those little things he does. Just explain your point of view to him. Tell him how he makes you feel. Tell him that you don't mind waiting, but you don't want to play games. This might seem a little hard for you because you really like him, but its better to clear things up. Just keep in mind that he likes you too.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Idk, id say distence your self a little. giving the time he needs, be friends but close friends. I've been in the same position as him becoming close to a girl and then having my heart ripped out for god knows what reason. all I can say is just don't too much much into him, because he most likly will see you as a rebound, or worse just try to use you. . . but stay friends, read him, his actions and see where he wants to go with you. . .


What Girls Said 1

  • i voted 'give him time'. in love you have to take chances... you should continue being there and happy with the relationship you have. don't ignore your friends, continue spending time with them and your family, because if he decides he doesn't want a relationship, it will be a lot easier to deal with with all your friends and family.