How to deal with a guy who is a bit selfish/uncompassionate probably due to this lack of dating experience?

I've been dating someone for a month and while he's great sometimes, other times he's just plain clueless.. And almost selfish. I told him I had a really bad migraine and left work early and he says nothing to the effect of me feeling better but only says something completely unrelated. Another time I told him I felt self conscious about something in our sex life, his response was that I was making him feel bad. How do I tell him he's being uncompassionate? I don't want to hurt his feelings but at the same time I'm getting frustrated and feeling like he needs boyfriend lessons or something.


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  • Lack of dating experience has nothing to do with it. When it comes to telling him, there are ways to respectfully address him. Remember, you can't control how he reacts; he's responsible for his own emotions. Psychology Today has great articles on conflict resolution. It even has an article on 'tough conversations'.
    You sound like a sweet spirit and I'm glad you're reaching out. It means you care for him, and for yourself because you want to work through this. He may not be aware of his tendencies and may become defensive when you approach him. The delivery in communication is so important, but he also has to be open to it. Best of luck; you both deserve a healthy relationship.