Has she dumped me or am I being paranoid?

I had been on four dates with this woman so far, once a week. From the beginning we hit it off and would talk deep into the night. She's stayed the night several times, and though we've cuddled, there's been no sex (she didn't initiate, and I'm still not sure if I want sex before a committed relationship).

She's stated that she considers it casual dating still, so I try to play it cool and generally only call or e-mail once a week between the dates; usually to confirm a meet up, though we still converse.

Two weekends ago, she was busy for the weekend because family was visiting, so we didn't meet up. Last weekend was Thanksgiving, so both of us went to our respective families instead.

I left a flirtatious message on her machine almost a week and a half ago, got an flirt back on my machine a day or two later (claimed her phone didn't get it until then, which I believe, because it happens to my phone too). I sent an e-mail two days before Thanksgiving, got a response that day, and responded as well; then I left for the holidays.

I gave a call on Sunday, didn't leave a voice mail, but I did this Monday around mid-day. I haven't heard from her since a week ago with the e-mail correspondence, though I know she's been home since Saturday evening because her family's place doesn't have internet, and her Facebook profile's been active since then.

Should I be worried that she's decided to stop seeing me? I know desperation and neediness is unattractive, and I like to think I've controlled myself when it comes to interacting with her; but that doesn't change how I think when she's not around.

Annoyingly, my friends have told me she's my girlfriend because I've only dated one woman a year, and none have lasted longer than three dates; and only one had gone farther than a kiss. Annoying because it encourages me to get attached.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Always go for sex if you want a relationship, everything is more easy once that is out of the way. Unless she wants to wait, then simply respect that if you care about her, but remember there is a pretty big chance she thinks you are boring and not enough interested in her if you haven't try to move things forward yet.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Just wait a week without calling her and then go ahead and call her. If she gives you the runaround just be patient and let her contact you. In the meantime I wouldn't hesitate to look for other relationship options. If she's not going to make an effort then she must not be that interested and she will be more heartache than she is worth.

  • Give her some space, call her again or e-mail again in a few days. If she answers or calls back, don't ask her why she didn't call earlier, or if she got your message. If you call again and she still doesn't return you call, move on.


What Guys Said 1

  • Well she want you to initiate sex, but you didnt.. You aren't giving her what she wants..

    My guess is you're boring and so predictable...

    Since you haven't got really anything to lose text her "im horny, come over..."