I keep pushing people away. How can I change?

Untill i was 12 years old my life was good. At the age of 12 i was diagnosed with scoliosis and i had to wear a back brace for the upcoming 4.5 years for 23 hours a day. Those teen years destroyed all of a sudden i had to wear this heave thing or i needed surgery. I let no one near me and all of a sudden i isolated myself. During my teen years my grades fell, i didn't had a lot of friends and my life existed out of mere survival. After i was done with the treatment i fell into this HUGE depression. I didn't go to school for 3 years and i didn't know why i was depressed. Till this day i push people away and it left a huge emotional scar in my life. I never even had a boyfriend, sometimes i feel like i just need to get over it but i feel like whenever something good might happen it will be taken away from me. Why do i feel like this?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Well you answered your question by yourself. You had scoliosis, under performed in school, didn't have a lot of friends, didn't go to school for 3 years so you were alienated from the community and you had no goals or ambition so you thought of life as a mere survival. You only existed for the sake of existing. Any sane person would be depressed if they went through all that.

    The fact is nothing really good happened to you in your life so maybe you subconsciously believe that if anything good does happen then it won't last after all your 12 years of relatively good life didn't last did it.

    Maybe it's time to have a drastic change in your life, do something different like join a college, travel or heck even meditation might work.
    Good luck. :)

  • Don't know. Therapy time!


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