Ok to give you background prior to what recently has transpired I have an ex girl friend who also is still my friend but latter on after we broke up she pretty much went from being bi to lesbian but I'm the only guys she's ever trusted on a deeper intimate level.
Anyways so with that in mind I was seeing a girl for a bit and things were going pretty well and I was convinced she liked me and that perhaps we would end up together. She thought she liked me but all of a sudden she decided to cut it off because she said she wasn't looking for a relationship and she's really starting to question whether or not she's a lesbian and that perhaps she's just not attracted to guys. I honestly don't thinks she's bullshitting me (Shes mentioned that she's attracted to girls and she even talked about getting her hair cut more short) she told me that I'm in general attractive, nice, caring, nuturing, patient, good person but even though everything is right and in place it's like it doesn't feel quite right.
I mean if it only happened one time then it would be just kinda be a fluke but this is the second time now this has happened. Like I've heard of girls being attracted to gay guys that are in the closet but I rarely hear about guys being attracted to girls that end up being lesbian. I mean like wtf is going on here? Am I like a fucking lesbian traped inside a man's body? Like tbh the girls I end up liking a lot usually are bi or have a more fluid sexuality. I need more insight from both perspectives both men who've been in my shoes and bi/lesbian women who have delt with this issue. I just need to figure this out because the last thing I want is to fall for girls that might end being lesbians over and over again.
Most Helpful Girl
Yikes. As a lesbian in a pretty heteronormative world, (I know you're probably tired of SJWs overusing that word, but hear me out,) the pressure to date a guy and admit your attraction to women is a phase is pretty intense. You get it from family, coworkers, random strangers, it's everywhere. And it's really annoying. If the girl you were with was in the closet, she might have figured that since she and you were close, you'd be a good person to date to just try and block it out of her head. I've been in a similar situation, and I was in a long distance relationship with a guy, but when he started talking about physical stuff and our future, something felt off. (mind you, he was a very sweet respectful guy.) I identified as bi at the time but as I've grown up and dated different people, it turns out that I'm just straight up gay. I think a lot of us try to get with guys that seem sweet and not feminine per say, but possessing the kindness and spiritual qualities that women normally have, but in the end, guys are masculine beings, and the majority of us aren't about that life. (not speaking for bi women here because that's a little different) however, a few of the bi/pan girls I know are afraid that their fluid sexualities and whatever masculine characteristics they possess (or wish to possess) turn guys off. So, since the attraction was there to begin with, they end up dating more girls than guys. Sorry if this doesn't help or wasn't specific enough, but I thought I'd try and help you to kinda see maybe what she's feeling and why this is happening. I hope you find a girl who likes you as much as you like her!!0
Most Helpful Guy
I'm actually kind of envious. I've never had the pleasure.0