I don't no what should I do for dates. Maybe I am not cut out for relationships?

Me and this girl just recently told each other that we like one another and she is clearly expecting me to take her out for a date, which is currently causing me headaches.

First off, I have no idea what to do on a date other than eating. Like, okay I know there are many things I can do like movies, pub, club, events, ..., but seriously, I have no interest in any of those.
You will probably say find something you are interested in then, which I will tell you quite honestly that I have close to zero hobbies.
I am a boring guy who simply stay home and sleep. The only things I will actually do are things that are not interactive like reading books, playing games (must be single player), watching tv (need absolute silent when watching).
Even for eating, I much prefer just quickly stuff my stomach with fast food or going to a food court than a restaurant. I don't really enjoy or appreciate food in general. To me, a lobster from a top-end restaurant is the same as a piece of no flavor bread that I have to microwave from a freezer. As long as they stuff me, they are all the same.

I can force myself to do all those for a date but it got me thinking.
I don't think I can last more than 3 dates. And from what I know, people go on dates very regularly when they are in a relationship and I can sense it from this girl that she is expecting to hangout everyday and wish the guy to plan for it. Just thinking about it seems like a nightmare to me.
The best date in my mind right now is sit around at my house doing nothing. I doubt she will enjoy it though.

Am I not cut out for relationship? should I just call it off with this girl? I really like this girl and she told me she likes me a lot as well but I don't think she will be happy with me when I simply don't enjoy doing anything.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, there might be some women out there who don't like going out and/or doing things. But they're probably pretty rare. I mean, even women who are introverted and homebodies will probably want to do things with their boyfriend, even if they're things they do at home. And a woman who also doesn't like going out is going to be more difficult to meet because... she doesn't go out.

    Forcing yourself to do these things may work for some time, but as you've said, you don't think you can last more than 3 dates. If you stop doing things with a girl, she'll probably think your boring, lazy, and/or not interested in her. Even girls who prefer to stay in instead of going out will likely still want to talk to you, play games with you, watch television together and talk about it.

    I mean, it could be that when you start spending time with a girl you like, you may discover that you actually like doing things with her. I don't know.

    The way you've described yourself makes me wonder: Are you depressed?

    • You nailed my worries.
      If i am depressed, the sole cause of it is this setting up this date thing.
      I like my current life, I enjoy doing nothing at home. I never find hanging out with friends or doing whatever to be fun at all, just a certain socializing courtesy that I do.

      This date thing is really frustrating me. Doing anything else other than simply eating at a fast food place is already something I don't really want to do, but at the same time knowing her, I know she won't be happy from a fast food date. She seems to have high expectation from what I heard from her friends.
      I hate doing these activities like movies, eating in restaurants, walking in park, but I also hate seeing her upset. I am like screw either way. Maybe my frustration made me sound depressed

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    • all our current hangouts are really just me all silent just sitting there while others talk and play and she talks to me.

    • Well, I think you're right. Most people would be bored by that. I don't think that anyone is so unique that there aren't other people out there who are similar to them, so there very well may be a woman out there who doesn't like doing stuff and would be happy to just sit in silence, but it might be hard to find her.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Relationships are about sacrifice. Taker her to the park for a picnic, then take her home to watch tv or movies like you like! Give her attention though. Even if it's simply rubbing her back or cuddling. DO NOT IGNORE HER!!!

    • hm... sacrifice eh? you might be right. But do you think would it do more harm to the girl if I do try and at the end doesn't work out? afterall we are not official yet, it might be easy for her to move on now

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    • I feel like she will think I am making up excuses to reject her if I tell her that I have no hobbies no interests no desire to do any activities when she is waiting for me to ask her out

    • Take her out then. Just casually bring it up in conversation. Don't make it a bold statement.

What Guys Said 1

  • why do you like her?
    if you respond it'll help more

    • hm... she is sweet, cute, but more like there's just a connection with her that I feel special about. Talking to her is easy and she is always helpful.

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    • it does when you are asked to do something you hate and you have to make it enjoyable for the other party while you yourself found nothing enjoyable about it.
      If I ask her for movie, I can already imagine her asking me what movies do I like in which the only reply I can give without lying is I don't like movies, then she will be confused on why are we even having a movie date.

    • u let her pick the movie xD, but if you really won't enjoy it, don't do it. not everybody is cut out for dating, and if u really dread it this much, then that includes you.