Why do guys on online dating sites all seem to stop contacting me and it never turns into anything, even when they initiate contact first?

I've been on a few online dating sites cuz I'm so busy with work and friends lately and I wanted to try something new. Why do I get no where on these things? I feel like even when they say they do, guys don't want to talk or they take FOREVER to respond. Lots of people have said im pretty and I try to be friendly when I am talking to guys but maybe I'm just boring? I've had like literally a few hundred guys in the past month contact me yet they either want sex or they appear to lose interest fast and stop contacting me. What gives? What am I doing wrong and how can I get more success on these sites and find the right type of guys?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Just because a guy messages you first really doesn't mean anything. Guys have such trouble getting a response from women online that they message dozens of women at once hoping to get even one reply. If another girl messages him first then the guy will disappear for a while.

    There is also a lot of socially awkward guys online. They may work up the nerve to message a girl, but then be too shy to message her if she actually responds to him.

    • I just have no patience for guys who don't message back, take forever to message you back, don't want to talk about anything, who stop responding, who only wanted sex, who go hot and cold, and everything! I just don't see why this has to be SO hard lol

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What Guys Said 3

  • There's really no way for me to give a good answer to this - there simply isn't enough information to even hint at why people lose interest in talking to you - I'd have to be one of the guys you spoke to know anything.

    However, I will speak from experience from a few online encounters I had where I stopped responding -

    One person only spoke to be based on proximity. We live in the same town. I quickly learned how little we shared in common.
    Depending on the type of relationship you're looking for, (I'm assuming committal.) your issue could just be that the guys you're liking just don't share enough common interests with you.

    Another one passed the creepy threshold too quick - she was pretty blunt that the main reasons she liked me were;
    A) I'm a white guy.
    B) I don't want kids.
    Ethnicity and child status are not personality traits. If that's all someone sees in me, I'm quickly going to notice that I'm totally interchangeable with any of the other jackoffs on this dating site. There's no possibility for a relationship here. Next!

    I can think of about 5 examples of girls, but the other 3 are just repeats of similar behaviours to the 2 ones I mentioned.

    Perhaps not the best response to your post, but I hope you extrapolate at least something useful from this.

    • Thanks for the detailed response, I kinda see where your coming from. This one guy in particular I liked, we are both into sports, staying active, movies, and he seemed to be pretty interesting and we have been texting for about a month now but barely once a day. We both wanted to see Jurassic World so since it came out last week I hinted twice that we should go and the week before he said yea next wee, but apparently he forgot and he's talking summer classes and has been busy so I finally just went to see it by myself and I told him this thinking maybe he'd get the message that he hasn't followed through with what he said he'd do. And this is literally the farthest I've ever gotten on an online dating site. The rest is me talking to guys who either stop responding, get creepy, or I get bored cuz nothing happens.

  • they must have lost interest along the way as they learned more about you.

    • yea but every single one of them? lol am I just that boring to every guy? what makes a guy lose interest?

    • they're probably talking to other girls at the same time so they're just filtering the best out of their options.

    • doesn't mean you're bad, it probably just means they found more things in a different girl that fit their preferences.

  • do u have any pics of yerself?

    • yea i do

    • *on my profile

    • since it's a datin site, those guys browse lots of female profiles... so it doesn't mean they want 2 hang out wid u, even if they initiate

What Girls Said 1

  • Because they talk to many girls simultaneously or they have no clue how to respond.