Is the ball in my court?

I was texting this girl with the intention to have an informal date ( like grab a cup of cofee or something ), it was two times.

First time she couldn't, but said would have come and second time she proposed the date and place ( after I initated the contact ) but I couldn't for that specific date and time and we couldn't arrange otherwise as she said is busy and maybe we try next week.

What do you think, is expected of me to initiate the contact the third time in a row? I am hesitant as both times we couldn't really arrange the for quick/informal date and it wasn't because I was busy, more like her.

  • The ball is in my court
    Vote A
  • The ball is in her court
    Vote B
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If you think the ball is in my court, why do you think that?

I feel this girl did little show interest, so why continue bugging her?

Thank you.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well as a guy you have to be a little persistent in the beginning that has been my experience.

    • I know what you say but somehow its hard for me to actually do it after I tried twice and ended up with "maybe next week". I think the acute phase has passed now since I met her 3 weeks ago.

    • Show All
    • Nothing to lose, I actually did it, the response is a no. I guess my gut feeling was right, in future I will simply follow it more.

      Thanks for the encouragement!

    • thank you for the MHO!

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What Guys Said 1

  • The ball is in your court because as the man you suppose to initiate pretty much everything in the beginning

    • Something I don't get.

      I initiated contact twice, each time seemed like either one of us was busy or it was just not the right time. However I didn't get a hard counter offer, in my opinion, the ball was not in my court.

      I said, ok lets just try it the third time, just because it is custom that the guy asks. However the third time I just asked if she still wants to drink that coffee with me, instead of a "NO" I got some lame excuse.

      It seems that were not playing a game, so the answer is probably "neither", however I still think that if she wanted to seem me, had a genuine interest, she would have come with a counter offer or just try to initiate the contact as I did it twice.

      Maybe I am not seeing these things right, but I don't know how to gauge a female interest other then her willingness and desire to spend time with me in the beginning.

    • Its strange anyway, I am not good at this game, I met here trough my friends and had great time with them and she started sending strong IOIs, then I said to myself, ok I could know this person better, so we could just hangout but had little romantic interest in this.

      Maybe she has enough friends, thats cool, but why send IOIs just to fake it twice and flake at third invitation? Doesn't make any sense to me, I guess its her choice to behave like a child.

    • Now this is new info. Before, you were asking if you should initiate for a 3rd time after she tried to make up for not being able to accept your first offer (which I think you should have), and you were busy on the day she suggested. Now you're saying you initiated for that 3rd time but she came up with an excuse and no counter offer, which makes it seem like she's not interested