Great date gone WRONG! Still fixable?

To make a long story short, we hit it off at the first date and he planned for a second one. There was a lot of innocent flirting here and there. Nick (not real name) had genuine interest in what I had to say, asked me a lot of questions about my life, family and hobbies. We laughed nearly all the time and he did most of the talking and never took out his phone except for showing me some things. Nick also laughed at my lame dumb blond jokes even though I could feel that he did not really like it. Since I am going back home for a few weeks, he seemed worried about me not coming back and asked for every detail to clarify things. When I told him I was gonna come back, he seemed very relieved.

A lot of girls came up to Nick and flirted with him, and I decided to test him a bit. Told him I gotta bin my drink and he disengaged from the girls and followed me right to the bin where I finished and binned it. Took 30min to finish and he still stood by me, never checking his phone or talking to other girls! We had fun for the rest of the night, but I think I fucked it all up.

I thought he was a player (since there was so many girls coming onto him and it was hardly possible for him to not be one) I told him everybody cheats on everyone and it was unrealistic not to think so. Nick told me in a relationship there has to be trust and it was more than fine to commit if he found the right person. I felt really bad for saying that and realized indeed I was deeply insecure. I tried to cover up the wrong move and agreed with him adding my statements. We ended up laughing and having a great time in the end before I said I needed to go. I left and he asked me whether I was gonna give him a hug or not. I hugged Nick and it lingered on for so long before I said goodbye. Also said the reason why I was on a dating site was to find friends but would take things further from there if it all worked out.

Not sure if he is still interested in me or demoted me to friendship material. Does he think I may not act the same way or only see him as a friend?


Most Helpful Girl

  • He's definitely still interested in you. If he asked you if you were gonna give him a hug before you left, then he truly likes you. I think you realized your mistake and now know him enough to choose if you should take things more seriously with him. He's also a 100 percent KEEPER if he talked to you about there being trust and commitment in a relationship! I think you two are ready for more

    • Thank you so much for answering. Thing is I am on trip for 3 weeks. How can I keep him interested and preserve these feelings without it fading over a course of 3 weeks?

    • 21 days trip huh? I think for the first 4 days tease him a little and text him how you would normally text each other. You know make him miss you ;) Then after those teasing days text him selfies of yourself and of the trip. That'll definitely make him keep thinking of you. And he'll be happy to see you being thoughtful enough to send him pictures of the trip or of your selfies. Give him one picture each day to make him feel like he's there with you. After a week you should start videochatting with him and tell him details of the trip and what you two normally talk about. But for that week keep the videochat short (depends on how you feel 20,30,45 mins?) But during that time u should still text him and send pics to reassure him. Then for the last week spend your time together with long video chats, long texts, long phone calls, and anything to make u two satisfied. And maybe before u come back tell him you have a gift from you. Keep him thinking and excited.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Eh, you fucked up. You can think whatever you want in your head or have your ranting moments, BUT NOT ON A FIRST DATE. That was a huge mistake. Even I'm not that cynical. I'd never say such a thing so early in the relationship, or potential in your case. Oh well, live and learn.

    • Uh, that was a second date and we have talked a lot on social network beforehand.

    • Still a really, really bad idea. What were you thinking?

  • You shouldn't "test" people.


What Girls Said 1

  • No. I believe he still has an interest in you romantically. However I would explain to him the reason (s) why you made this remark.

    • Thanks for answering! He looks a lot like Nick Carter from BSB which made me excited about him and maybe the reason why a lot of girls are attracted to him. Thing is how can I keep him interested when I am going away for a three week holiday trip? Don't really want to call and I never called him before. I am worried that his feelings would fade through the weeks apart.

    • Then you need to keep in contact. Maybe suggest Skype or something along those line... whatever you choose just keep the communication up, this is most important

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