Fifth date-How to handle it?

I'm very quiet and.. well, a bit reserved- and so is he. So, I'm worried that he's starting to think that I'm not interested. We started talking online mid-February. I've never dated anyone before and even though I like him a lot, I have trouble overtly showing interest. I have Asperger's (high-functioning autism).. I don't really do the flirting thing very well, have trouble picking up subtle hints of interest and I have trouble initiating. I'm not a touchy-feely person, but I did awkwardly initiate a hug at the end of our third date.. which is huge for me, but maybe not so much for him (I don't do hugs.. and I don't think I've ever truly initiated one before). At the end of our fourth date, he leaned own and initiated that hug, but I think I hugged him wrong if that's a thing (I mean, I gave him a tight hug, but was I supposed to wrap my arms around his neck, not under his arms? And I instinctively turned my head to face the other way). Basically, my interpersonal skills suck and I spend too much time analyzing everything.

I've been told before by men (not him) that I'm too intimidating.. which sucks because I really like this guy.. he's awesome... but I enjoy his company so much that my mind goes blank around him. We've gone out on four dates in the last 3 weeks, and he makes plans to see me again after each date but doesn't make any advances. He keeps in touch in between dates, and has even said he's surprised I'm not sick of him yet. (said that on second date). Whenever possible, he tries to make dates more convenient for me for traveling (and I usually respond by saying "It's okay.. I like/don't mind driving"... yeah).

He told me he doesn't like PDA, but our dates are in public places (although there were people around when he hugged me). Was the hug I gave him enough to break the physical barrier and let him know I like him, or will I need to step up and initiat
initiate all physical contact? He isn't very touchy-feely either and seems nervous around me, but I don't know if he's taking things slow himself, disinterested or waiting for me to give him signs.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Did somebody say reserved...
    1. Kiss him
    2. Try to get him in a private place with you. Invite him over to watch movies with you.

    • 1. The thought of that makes me panic.. but messing this up because of something so silly would crush me. I was thinking of maybe giving him a kiss on the cheek during one of our hugs?

      2. He wants to go with me to see the new Terminator movie next week- our second movie date. We're 40 minutes away from each other, and I live with my grandmother.. whose always home, and is a heavy smoker (that, and the only normal-sized television is in her bedroom.. I usually just use my laptop). I feel like that would make it weird?

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    • Not what you metioned is fine

    • Nice- Yeah, the only issue would be is the fact that he has a sun allergy.. he breaks out in rashes when exposed to sunlight for too long (I'm allergic to the cold myself). I'll just have to ask him.. but I mean, that could just be remedied by staying in the shade. It's about time I asked him out as well.

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