Girls, Had sex with girl on 4th date, she started pushing me away and got extremely angry after something I said. Why?

So i've been seeing a girl for really about 1 week now. We've hung out 4 times since then. Instant connection, I could tell that she had a very high interest level in me. Mainly because of how affectionate towards me she was. Always touching me, always kissing me, etc. Just a really really nice bond between us. So on the 4th date after going to get dinner, we cuddled at her house, and had sex. However, during sex she stopped me saying she was hurting. I complied and we just cuddled for a bit, i got dressed and went home when she said she wanted to go to sleep.

She told me she would see me on the 4th, of July. On this day, we were going to a concert with her family together. As soon as i got there, she told me she didn't want me to meet her family, and I was totally confused as to why. I asked her why she stood me up afterwards, and She said she didn't want to leave her family since they bought her VIP tickets.

So I casually said it was fine and left it at that. Next day I asked her if she was free anytime this week, she said she "honestlywasn't sure". I said, "alright, just let me know when you're free and we'll hang out."

However, in the afternoon yesterday, I had a random thought that maybe she feels bad for having sex? So I reached out to her and said this exactly: "So i had a thought come up, and it's that if you feel guilty, and that you are beating yoruself up about having sex, don't. If you aren't beating yourself up, then good job and that I had fun with you regardless. Not looking for just sex, so no worries there. Just enjoying the connection. :)"
She said, "Thanks I guess you can put words in my mouth and think for me."

I said did I fuck it up? She said "Yep. Congrats, Thats one of my biggest pet peeves. I'm not a submissive Asian woman. I can speak for myself and i'm not afraid to. Thanks for making me feel like i'm a woman who has no voice.

I said "sorry, thats not even close to what my intent was." Any thoughts on why she acted like this?


Most Helpful Girl

  • there's something to the extreme defensive she put up just not sure what, I understand why she got mad about the speaking for herself, but yikes talk about defensive! !! it might have helped by saying something like you've felt she's been distant since the sex. that you were trying to reassure her you didn't want her for sex but the company. either way she shouldn't have been so defensive. has she talked since?


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What Girls Said 2

  • Yeah.. maybe it wasn't your intent, but out of context, what you said sounds a tad condescending and presumptuous to me. Never make assumptions.

  • you made her feel weak.


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