How can I win her heart?
I'm 20 and there's a girl I like that is 18. We work together at a grocery store, she's a cashier and I push carts sometimes bag, but mainly push carts. So over the past 7 or so months I've developed a huge crush and gotten to know this girl very well. We text and snapchat and we talk about our families, and actually she has known a couple of my younger second cousin's for over 10 years cause they were on the same swim team at the YMCA. But then we talk about other stuff in our lives too such as school. In fact we are going to the same community college in the fall and she is excited as well as myself to see each other at school. Why didn't I ask her out months ago? Well she had a boyfriend, but they just broke up last week. So I wanted to tell her that I like her but I was scared it would wreck our friendship if she said no. She would always call me doll, babe, honey, and then tell me I'm sweet. She is one of the most amazing girls I have ever met, and we even would talk about the future and how we both look forward to having families and being parents one day. After seeing that I know this sounds crazy but if everything went right I would marry this girl. Anyway I finally asked her out yesterday, she was cashiering and I went up to her and no one was really around and asked her if she wanted to go out this weekend. She told me she had to work with weekend, so I asked well how about another time then and then I told her that I really liked her. She smiled and blushed and said we'll see Paul. So today I texted her and she texted me that she appreciates the courage of asking her out but it's just too soon and she doesn't want to date anyone right now. She told me then that I'm a really sweet guy but she's not interested in being more than casual work friends with me. I replied she hasn't texted back all day. I'm scared I wrecked our friendship, and the truth is I know we have potential. How can I win her heart over the next few months? Help!
Most Helpful Girl
It's probably going to be awkward for awhile, but she sounds like a nice girl for not leading you on and being straight forward about her intentions. She's probably pulling away thinking a close friendship with you will only hurt you further. Or worse... Sometimes us women will turn a guy down and say we want to be friends and they just keep trying. We know they see us as more and it makes us feel like assholes for acting the way we used to for fear of leading them on. Maybe try something like this "hey (her name) im sorry for asking you out so close after your break up. I know it's a confusing time for you, and I guess I was also confused thinking there might have been more here. I really value our friendship and asking you out was really scary for me because I didn't want to jeopardize something that meant so much to me. I don't want things to be awkward and I never want to make you uncomfortable. Friends?" And then give her some space for awhile. Keep the conversations casual and let them gradually build back up again. She probably won't ever be your girlfriend, but you could get your friend back.0