Advice on when to "DTR" (define the relationship)?

I've gone on 4 dates with this awesome guy that I work with. He's sweet, has a good sense of humor, and I enjoy being around him. Our dates just seem to be getting better as time goes along. We've been to parks, had a picnic, watched a movie, had dinner together etc. I recently found out that his last serious relationship lasted a few years. He didn't mention any others when I asked. We have things to chat about, and I'm growing more and more open with him (I can be a quiet person as can he). I'm leaving college in about 6 weeks. I won't be going too far away, but it's about a 45 min train ride and commuting to see each other would be the reality. We see each other once a week outside of work and 5x a week at work. How soon should I bring up "what are we?" in a conversation, and how can I do that without it seeming cliche and silly? Also, is the 5th date too soon to bring up more details about past relationships? We didn't say more than that we'd both been in serious relationships.


Most Helpful Guy

  • This is about the time when you'll want to have that discussion.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Wait at least three months no matter what. I've been single from my ex for about three months now, but before that we were dating for 6. We clicked so well, and it seemed like we were a perfect match in the first two months, so much that we made it official. Later on, she said it felt like things moved too fast and she needed space. All of this was her decision to move quickly (I went along with it because I'm not afraid of relationships and being tied down early). It ended in misery.


What Girls Said 1

  • Have you mentioned to him that you will eventually leave?
    If yes, how did he respond? Has he told you about the expectations of your relationship?


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