How can I tell if he genuinely wants to develop something serious?

So, I'm 23 and he's 27. We've been talking for 4 months. Nothing sexual has happened between us but he has continously expressed interest. We've been on a few dates and I kept getting the vibe that he wasn't looking for a relationship so I made it clear that we have different agendas and there is no point in stalling things any longer. I've cut communication multiple times but somehow he always finds a reason to spark a conversation. Until the last time I cut it off after a date and he messaged about a week later and said that he keeps thinking about me and that he really likes me and when AGAIN I told him that he can't be what I need and llikewise on my side, he said then he wants to take it further and be exclusive. Generally, I am very paranoid, especially of his "type", and so, how do I know this is my paranoia getting the best of me and that he actually is genuine?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds like you've been pretty clear. You should ignore him, he doesn't seem to respect your boundaries.

    • I think it's the the opposite, he's giving me what I want, no? I didn't ask him to leave me alone, I told him that I wanted something serious while I felt like he didn't so we should part ways. My only concern is if he's giving me what I want to get what he wants... Or if it's just my paranoia.

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    • He didn't say he wasn't looking for something serious, he said he realized that he might not be ready for it and that was 2 months ago. And the cutting communication part, it's because I didn't want to get tangled up in emotional turmoil when all the facts were in front of me. He's not ready for a relationship, I wasn't going to wait. So, from a guy's point of view, it doesn't seem like he's "trying"?

    • No, it seems like he's trying to hard and that makes me suspicious.

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What Guys Said 2

  • More like afraid of commitment

    • Thank you for your answer! I thought of that too. Especially, since when we started talking, he was initially looking for a relationship. Then, over a month ago he said how he doesn't think he's ready for a relationship and I said, well maybe if it was the right person, and he said, no you're the right person and if I'm not ready with you, I'm not ready at all. But why would he want to make it exclusive now especially since he said he wasn't ready before? I mean, these things don't change over night

  • Date his female friends.


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