Can Someone Tell Me What Exactly Is a Crush?

I have been asked from the beginning of puberty, who do I have a crush on?

Nobody has ever seemed to get that I never really have a crush on anyone. In fact, I've never really known what it means.

Okay, so you have a crush on that guy. Does that mean you want to sleep with him? Does that mean you wish you were more than friends? Is it this emotion that bubbles up inside you whenever you're around them? What? Or is it sort of like, you want to protect them or something. Does it mean you're just going to obsess over that person now?

I know my friends can get jealous if their 'crush' looks at another girl/guy in the way I assume they want the crush to look at them.

Somebody has told me that I must be asexual if I don't get crushes. Well, no. I do want to have sex, I am interested in sex and having it so I can't be asexual.
A friend has said maybe I'm demisexual, but. I'm not sure.
The reason I don't get crushes though isn't the problem. I dont care and really, if my friends are any indicator, not having crushes is only makng my life easier. I don't have to deal with liking a person who doesn't like me back.

So, the question.

What exactly is a crush, and how do you know you have one? What does it feel like?


Most Helpful Girl

  • A crush is sort of like being in love, but you don't know the people so well so it's less intense. You can have a crush on a celebrity too. You either think they're really handsome or you like their personality. You get butterflies thinking about them and they are on your mind a lot. It isn't weird that you haven't had one yet :)

    • A crush is absolutely NOTHING like being in love. Not real love. A crush is an immature term for finding someone attractive or having an infatuation with someone.

    • Show All
    • Thanks, @MissPoirot I hope you find that someday. It really is the most wonderful thing.

      @BaileyisDarcy You will definitely know if you get a crush on someone. I mean, it goes beyond just looking at someone once and finding them attractive. A crush you tend to obsess over quite a bit. You idolize them in a way. When you crush on someone, they can usually do no wrong in your eyes. You become very delusional.

    • Thank you for MHO! How is it going?

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • It's an orange flavored soda.

  • I think I may have your answer, but here me out till the end. I am asexual, I found this out about a year and a half ago after I learn asexuality is a valid thing. I had always thought I had crushes on certain girls, but after I found out all of this just disappeared. Looking back on it now, I think that I was so obsessed with losing my virginity (both in real life and in my head because I had and still have never had a natural sexual thought) do to the stigma behind male virginity, that I was enamored with my most likely candidate to have sex with. dark times. I came to realize that I had another identity along with asexual.

    Sexual orientation only refers to the gender or genders in which you experience sexual attraction to, it says nothing about romantic attraction. Romantic orientation refers to the gender or genders in which you experience romantic attraction towards. So straight people are typically assumed to be heteroromantic, gay people are assumed to be homoromantic, etc. However, sexual orientation and romantic orientation do not have to align, even though they usually do. So for example, you can be bisexual homoromantic.

    There is a romantic orientation that refers to not experiencing romantic attraction to anyone, or to no gender. this is called aromantic. After I know I was asexual, I had I hard time determining what a crush is. Eventually I realize this was because I was not experiencing any romantic attraction, and that I was aromantic. And remember, like I said sexual orientation and romantic orientation do not have to correlate; so you do not have to be asexual or any given sexual orientation to be aromantic.

    If any of this makes sense I suggest you look this up, and you can talk to me here if you have any questions. :)

    • This... makes so much sense and could explain so much.
      I'm going to go look this up further, thankyou.

    • No problem, I look for stuff like this when I get a chance. I feel like it should be general information. Good luck! :)

    • Thankyou!

  • U just like him maybe kiss and u want to date him and your friends don't have to k chances r they will tell the guy if u give a name

  • It all comes down to the hormone rush. You may think that it's 'love' or 'destiny' but in all reality it's your body thinking for you.

  • A "crush" is someone you have an attraction to. It may be love, it may be sexual, it may be lots of things. And it may be of varying strengths. You can like a person and enjoy being around them. Or you may go far beyond that and feel that you can't function unless you are with them. Just as "like" can have varying degrees. You are trying to define it too strictly. The reason that you see so many different ways that "crush" is being used is because you are trying to fence in the meaning too closely. It is just an attraction that can be felt in many different ways.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Crush is just a feeling where you get butterflies when you are around someone you feel attracted to! It doesn't mean you want to sleep with them or date them at that! It's just where you find them attractive!

  • It just means you're interested in someone... I don't think your problem is sexual

  • a crush is someone you really like. its the beginning stages of "catching feelings" everytime you are around them you get that tingly feeling in your belly and when you get a text from them you want to reply instantly. a crush is someone that can make your day 10X better by just saying hi


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