What are your absolute dating deal breakers?

If the person you were dating had these "faults," which one of them would be an absolute deal breaker for you? Also what are some actual deal breakers that have caused you to break it off with someone right away.
  • Completely different religious and/or political view points
    Vote A
  • Doesn't get along with his family or people in your family
    Vote B
  • Doesn't want kids/marriage/to move in together after a significant period of time dating
    Vote C
  • Has bad hygiene
    Vote D
  • Has bad finances/in major debt
    Vote E
  • Has been in jail before
    Vote F
  • Has too many exes and/or kids
    Vote G
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Much different religious views, has cheated before, rude, doesn't like kids, treats waitstaff bad, smoking, selfish/self-centered, lazy, no drive/ambition, bad hygiene, doesn't view sex the same way I do, fiscally irresponsible... to name a few.

    • great list

    • Show All
    • Well thankfully I never have to find out!!! He's someone else's problem now. I think its good to have a general list of things that lets you know, some things and some people just aren't worth giving up your happiness for.

    • I agree with you. It sounds like he is better being someone else problem. Exactly you don't give up your happiness. Sometimes I think we all understand our deal breakers can get a little out of hand and even though we wouldn't be thrilled about something, it isn't as big of a deal as we make it.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 40

  • I'd want a woman to be hardworking and career oriented so not too lazy lol
    I don't care what she believes in but if she was really strict in any religion it probably wouldn't work out
    She'd have to be pretty socially liberal. I'm very outspoken about things like LGBT rights and other things like that
    She'd have to have good hygiene lol
    She would have to be multicultural and have an appreciation for different cultures and foods
    I don't care about race or social class
    I'd prefer her not to be a criminal but people can make mistakes and turn their lives around
    I like people who are responsible with money but if they're in rough shape and working towards a career I can respect that
    I'm not into traditional gender roles so I'm not looking for that type of relationship at all
    I like outspoken women and not the really shy and demure types. I like to know where I stand. If she has an issue with me she should let me know so we can sort it out. I like being proactive in life.
    It would be nice if she enjoyed traveling but that's just a bonus
    I don't care about height but it would be easier if she was taller because I'm tall

    That's all I can think about right now.

    • ... and you were like mentioning something about how you're single or something? LOL! Great list, mine is very similar except I'd add, if you smoke, have addiction issues, and/or no manners, that person would definitely be out in my book.

    • Show All
    • your not single anymore? DAMN! lmao

    • @afrochick lol it's not too big of a loss

  • C, D, and E are all deal breakers for me but especially D. Because being a father is one of my biggest dreams, and NO girl is worth giving that up.

    F would also be a deal breaker if it was for something serious, like assault or murder.

    • Oops, sorry, I meant that C is the biggest deal breaker out of all of them

    • Let's just hope you're not roaming the streets with assault and murder charges... but still any type of prison record would bother me some. There are very few times, especially as an adult, that people get sent away 'for nothing.' It's unfortunately true though in our society that once you get that mark on your record, its hard to overcome it especially in a dating pool. Definitely with you on the kids thing too. Someones got to change our old ass bed pans when we're in our 90s and who's going to do that, if not the kids, huh?

  • Of the choices, gotta go with bad hygiene. If you don't take care of that, what *else* don't you take care of?

  • It's hard to choose because I have a few. I feel mine are very fair but my main three are drug use/excessive drinking, having kids, and bad hygiene.

    • It's funny, I'm going down the comments and reading people's lists and I'm not sure why anyone would downgrade someones personal list b/c honestly if you downgrade someone's list, the person who made it probably wouldn't want to date you nor you them. Irony.

  • debt would bother me. bad hygene too. That's pretty much all from your list. Some others include: fantastically overweight. Doesn't like anal. opposed to the occasional use of marijuana. heavy drinker or heavily into drugs other than marijuana. doesn't like to 69. any kind of moral objection to video games. doesn't like movies. Worries a lot... That's all i can think of offhand..

  • Doesn't get a long with anyone in their family or mine, had bad hygiene, but this to the extreme, has major debt, has been to jail before this depends if its for a minor traffic ticket that's okay, has too many exes and or kids or has any kids, has stds, has tattoos, is a narcissist, has an eating disorder, and has any mental disorders or illnesses.

  • My biggest dealbreakers:

    1. Lack of things in common
    2. Smoker/heavy drinker/drug-user
    3. Doesn't want kids
    4. Transgender/Transsexual
    5. Different way of living/culture/religion

  • I think the #1 deal breaker out of the options is Vote B. One of my exes used to bang on about how she detested my brother - NO ONE can diss my family.

    Apart from that, all of the above are deal breakers for me.

  • A little bit of everything. It's not just one thing, I don't think.

    Completely different religious and/or political view points
    Doesn't get along with his family or people in your family
    Doesn't want kids/marriage/to move in together after a significant period of time dating
    Has bad hygiene
    Has bad finances/in major debt
    Has been in jail before
    Has too many exes and/or kids

  • Kids are the #1 deal breaker for me. They suck the spontaneity out of a relationship and I'm not playing second best to anyone, especially kids from someone else.

    • I'm just curious at how that works. You're 63 or at least you say you are so wouldn't her kids be adults by then?

    • They will, however 1) I'm not attracted to women my age 2) I didn't date too may women with
      kids when I was younger. And I won't date ANY women with kids now.

  • There is NO excuse for bad hygiene in the developed world in this day & age , shows extreme laziness , lack of drive & no self respect , plus it's foul anyway... instant NO from me.

  • Deal Breakers

    Bad Hygiene
    Been in jail
    Doesn't want kids / marriage
    Doesn't get along with family

  • Some of those are pretty bad, like Jail, Huge debt, Bad Hygiene. Then i read the has to many ex's and kids... That is easily the worst, unless she went to jail for something like murder or rape etc...

    • My friend and I were at a diner once, and this guy literally came and sat in our booth to flirt with her. It actually was working in his favor until he mentioned he had kids, and she asked, oh how many, and he said 6. Deal Breaker. That probably means there's at least 1 angry ex, probably several involved in that, and who being single and ready to mingle wants to a deal with someone who needs several babysitters just to go out with you let alone brings the 6 on a date.

    • Exactly! and that's only the tip of the iceberg. If they are a good person you will always be way down on their priority list, if not then they are probably a shit bag. Also their kids will always see you as an impostor, should you bond with the kids and the relationship ends your now torn away from the kids as well. You can also guaranty they will be hitting you up for cash because kids are expensive!

  • I don't know man, I can't pick only one. I'll combine yours with some of mine:

    *Completely different religious and/or political view points. I'll sum it as completely different values than mine. I wouldn't date anyone that lacks morals from my perspective.

    Excessive body tattoos.

    Shares none of my own interests.


    Doesn't want kids/marriage.

    Has bad hygiene (never seen this before though)

    Doesn't want to work or doesn't have a career.

    Has been in jail before. Does/deal drugs.

    Has too many exes. Has kids, I don't want no one else's child, if that makes me an asshole so be it.

  • "D" of course... anything else can go fuck off... but "D" is...

  • Slutty past, more dirty minided then me (im nasty lol), doesn't want kids, doesn't offer to pay on dates, isn't generouS with whats her like, smells nasty, backbites about others, wears to much make up, dresses immodestly.
    my girlfriend has bad and good.
    She pays and is generous but she dresses slutty and backbites sometimes. Overall she has more of the good then the bad. Im working on buying her bigger clothing then crop tops hopefully she gets the picture lol. I love her thou and accept her even the bad because she's the kindest girl I know.

  • Hard to choose one!

    Being religious, bad hygiene, doesn't get along with my family, expecting a proposal too early, and not respecting my privacy are big ones though.

  • I'm going with "Has been in jail before" but "bad hygiene" is a huge turnoff, but something you can change.
    Bad hygiene was one of the factors why left my last girlfriend. She didn't smell bad or anything, she actually smelled pretty good and was very clean, except for one thing... her braces. She clearly didn't clean them too good cause you could see the yellow stuff around it, it was very bad that sometimes I didn't even wanted to kiss her.
    Also a turnoff is having a different "culture" and having little to nothing in common, also something that happened with my ex.

  • All of those were deal breakers besides B - that one i don't really care about.

  • Unhygienic
    Stuck up
    Closed Minded
    Too uptight
    Overly Religious
    Addicted to drugs or alcohol

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What Girls Said 36

  • Well, all of those options would probably cause issues within a relationship. However, I voted A.

    I most likely could not date a guy with completely different religious and political viewpoints. I'm a Christian and I'm pretty conservative, politically speaking. I just feel like those things (specifically religion) are important and if a guy didn't hold the same beliefs/values as me, it would probably cause tension and conflict at some point.

    • What if they were a different type of christian than you? Like they were Catholic while you were Protestant? You wouldn't attend the same services on sundays.

    • @Octavius That wouldn't be as big of a deal to me.

  • I said C but I would also have to say that there are others which would also be deal breakers for me. Marriage is a huge thing for me. I definitely want to get married some day. I'm aware marriages don't always work. I'm not obsessed with it, but it would be nice to share a life with someone and for me that would mean marriage. I'm aware of common law situations, but I have done a lot of thinking over the years and realized that I want a marriage.

    I also want kids, and so I think it's unfair for me to be with someone who doesn't and waste their time. It makes no sense to continue the relationship if the guy decided he didn't want kids and I really did. At some point it would become a huge issue.

    Anyway, I would also have to say that not getting along with my family could also be a deal breaker. I'm not saying the guy has to be best friend with my parents and brother. But he should at least be respectful. There's a reasonable amount of getting along with a person's family I would expect. I know not every situation is ideal, but if the relationship my partner had with my parents was really bad, then I would have to let him go.

    The other one I would say is completely different political and religious beliefs. I'm not a very religious person. And I'm not planning on getting involved in a religion soon. I have some beliefs but I wouldn't call them religious as in organized religion, but more of just a loosely-based spiritual belief system. I don't really know what I would define mine as. That being said, someone who hold religion as being very important to them, may not be good for me. I would be afraid they would try to force me to be in their religion. That's not something I am interested in doing. I can respect a difference of opinion, but when it comes down to me having to change myself drastically, no thanks.

    The major debt could also be an issue, but in my opinion that could be worked on. Debt doesn't have to be permanent, you can always establish a plan with your partner to work on getting to a better place financially. It just depends on their willingness and the relationship. It's definitely a touchy area.

    Bad hygiene is also on the list of one of my deal breakers. I'm not a perfectionist, but dating someone who refuses to ever brush their teeth or shower is a huge deal to me. People can get sick and diseases can be spread if there is poor hygiene.

    Having gone to jail could be a deal breaker, if they went for something serious. If not, and they are

    • ... reformed, then no. People sometimes go to jail, stuff happens, people make bad decisions. But there's a huge difference between someone going to jail for murder and going to jail for selling pot to a couple people, for instance.

  • Bad hygiene.

    I don't care about the other things.

    1.- As long as s/he doesn't want to change my points of view, I'm okay.
    2.- I don't even like my family...
    3.- I don't want serious shit
    4.- This..
    5.- I give a damn about money
    6.- I like bad boys and bad girls XD
    7.- I'm not dating his/her exes or kids...

  • My deal breakers:
    1. Bad Hygiene
    2. Has kids/divorced already
    3. Has a criminal record
    4. Won't fully commit after a long period of time (won't marry, etc.)
    5. Can't keep a job

    • Number 5, seriously... especially if they don't want kids, then expect you to be their mother and work to support them... yikes, no

    • Ya, I'd never be a stay at home wife cuz I wanna pursue my own career and a job i job so id expect him to do the same thing-besides, its way too expensive these days to live on only one income!

  • Manipulative, lazy and want's to ride on my coattails instead of having a job of his own, abusive to women or treats us as objects, no similar hobbies, bad hygiene goes along with being lazy (I'm not going to change someone) Is a known cheater (So cannot commit) Doesn't care about himself enough to take care of himself, and only wants sex (kinda goes along with guys who objectify), conflicting religions (way to different to be able to enjoy events with)

  • Depends on how long ago he was in jail and what was the reason. Plus has he bounced back or is it still affecting him in different areas of his life?
    If he smells thats fixable: Stop skipping showers & use deodarant & body spray.

    The rest were dealbreakers for me :/

    Other dealbreakers: If I find out he has a gf/wife but gives me a crap excuse "But Im not in love with her" So why are u still with her? Another dealbreaker: Verbal abuse, physical abuse, infidelity, emotional abuse.

  • If he doesn't want to eventually settle down with after a significant amount of time that would just suck and I'd come to terms with reality and move on... I would really like to have a nice, stable family. Also, he can't be smelly or anything hygiene is also important.

  • 1. Has kids (don't want baggage)

    2. Wants to move in together/get married (don't want neither one of those.)

    3. Tattoos (1 or 2 is okay but not all over his body.

    4. Skinny jeans or small clothes on a guy are a turn off.

    5. Arrogance and conceit

  • I'd only be worried about debt and jail, because I'd assume he'd keep repeating the both of them over and over again. I wouldn't think guys having kids at my age would be a problem, and the rest don't mean anything to me.

  • D-G and whinging, whining, nagging and lying. No one seems to make it 72 hrs without breaking one of those 4

  • I "helped" a guy once with his hygiene, so things like that can be improved.

    I had an issue with one guy who was a combination of three things in your list. He and my dad hated each other, he put *me* in debt with his gambling addiction, and he refused to ever marry me one day or allow our relationship to progress where he saw long-term with me. Meanwhile I made the mistake of moving in with him too quick. I ended it for all of those reasons.

    If I had to choose, I said not wanting marriage (should also include long-term commitment) because that's a sign that I will forever be putting in way too much work on a guy who isn't as serious as I am about commitment, and who knows what that could lead to later on? Cheating? Stealing? And kind of disrespect, really. No thanks. It took me a few years, but I finally saw signs of when I was just the cow giving away the milk.

  • Different religious beliefs, though differing political views doesn't necessarily have to be a dealbreaker.

  • Has children, mental health issues, controlling, lots of things are important to me but the biggest is drug addiction I can't be with someone on hard drugs

    • I think mental health issues is a bit harsh to pick someone out for as they don't have it by choice, go through a heap of pain and suffering, and for the most part do their utmost to improve themselves to get better.

    • This is stuff picked out before choosing to go on first date. If diagnosed after in relationship it's different however I would not go into a relationship knowledgeable about any health issue it takes more work. It may be mean but I'm honest

  • I voted B. Family is important to me. If you can't understand or respect that, it's not ever going to work out.

  • ALL of these + stupid, argumentative, aggressive, unkind, is always on a 'high horse', an addict (smoking, excessive drinking, drugs).

  • I said C, though the great debt worries me a little. Honestly, besides those two, none of the other ones bother me in the slightest. People are wrongfully accused, can't trully afford college, have been in relationships thst didn't work out (children/ex option), and just plain don't like people all the time. For the religion option, that kind of doesn't matter either. They can be different. It's only when you try to force your beliefs on me or others is when I draw the line. Aside from that, I could totally marry someone who was Christian if I were something like an Atheist. It's all about not being a dictatorship instead a RELATIONSHIP.

  • well theyre all terrible but the first one is what i care about most.

  • different political views
    into gender roles
    can't talk about sex or feelings
    can't tell me when he's mad at me , instead fumes silently.
    isn't into physical affection (affection not lust)
    isn't into physical activity. i dont care about the gym but he's got to like hiking or swimming or back packing something bc while i like having my own time at some point i want to play with him and that won't mean on a screen. i move more than my fingers when i play.
    bad hygiene
    he doesn't have to like traveling but id definitely like it if he did.
    isn't curious about the world
    isn't honest
    jumps to conclusions instead of asking questions
    more interested in placing blame instead of trying to resolve problems.
    likes clutter. / i like empty spacious spaces.

    im sure there's more but i can't think of it atm,.

  • D for sure. I could deal with other things, just take care of yourself. o_e

  • expecting me to pay for him or lend him money in an early stage of the relationship

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