I'm trying to manifest some sort of experience (never been kissed at 21) and possibly love but I'm starting to believe its not for me. Is it too late?

I know its silly to compare myself to other people but I feel like I'm really far behind everyone. All my friends have been kissed, experienced a long term relationship and about half of them have had sex. I feel like I'm really far behind because I've never experienced any of those things. I go out and I'm social but I can't seem to find someone interested in me. My friends usually get hit on by normal dudes (and the creepy ones as well) but on the rare occasion that I do get hit on, its by the creepy guys. I want to experience kissing, dating, a relationship and sex with someone I actually like because I don't want to feel like I'm settling.
To make matters worse, I almost started dating this one guy but he didn't like me enough I still haven't completely gotten over it. It was the first time a guy who I was actually attracted to was interested in me. Anyway, he started dating another girl a few weeks later. Him and I still talk from time to time (I think he does it when he's bored and she's unavailable). I also thinks he knows that I still have a thing for him too.
Lastly, my lack of experience and my whatever this thing is with this guy are making me believe that I'm not worthy of love. I don't think I'm gonna find someone who will want to date me or commit to me. I don't even think I could settle for someone just to get those things. As a result, I feel like I'm gonna end up being a long term side chick, if I'm lucky just so I can at least have someone I'm attracted who gives me attention when they can. I don't want that but I feel like that's the best I'm gonna get.
Also, I'm in shape and I'm "attractive". I put the quotation marks there because if I truly was then I feel like I wouldn't be as inexperienced as I am. I also wouldn't be stuck on that guy just because he was the first guy to give me attention. I would probably be sleeping around in search of the one. Lastly, I think that I might actually believe I was worthy of love. It would just be an issue of finding it.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't worry too much about it. The more you focus on this stuff, the more you feel bad about yourself. You don't need anyone else to feel good. Instead, you can try focusing on something actually productive that results in something good rather than a pointless kiss.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I had my first kiss at 19 and first relationship at 20, so I was a pretty late bloomer as well and could relate to the things you're feeling. It sounds like your lack of experience is giving you low self-esteem and anxiety about your future. Experience aside, the truth is that a lot of people our age are depressed about being single and not having found "the one" yet. Basically, you're not alone -- I hope you know that.

    Your inexperience isn't weird unless you make it weird by being awkward about it. Own it. The right guy will find it cute and respect you. In the meantime, try to work on your confidence. Go to the gym and get those happy endorphins flowing. Be positive. You're young and have so much time to find someone.

    Maybe try online dating? It's an easy way to meet people and get some dating experience, plus you don't have to compete with your friends or anything like that. And it's not like it's a taboo thing in this day and age.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • I'm almost 20, and I've never kissed someone until 2 months ago. I though that I'll never find anyone. I ended up kissing 3 guys in less than one month, and now I'm dating one of them. You really never know when it's going to happen, and most of the time it happens when you least expect it! Don't worry too much about it, you'll find someone great! :)

  • you'll find someone.


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