To make matters worse, I almost started dating this one guy but he didn't like me enough I still haven't completely gotten over it. It was the first time a guy who I was actually attracted to was interested in me. Anyway, he started dating another girl a few weeks later. Him and I still talk from time to time (I think he does it when he's bored and she's unavailable). I also thinks he knows that I still have a thing for him too.
Lastly, my lack of experience and my whatever this thing is with this guy are making me believe that I'm not worthy of love. I don't think I'm gonna find someone who will want to date me or commit to me. I don't even think I could settle for someone just to get those things. As a result, I feel like I'm gonna end up being a long term side chick, if I'm lucky just so I can at least have someone I'm attracted who gives me attention when they can. I don't want that but I feel like that's the best I'm gonna get.
Most Helpful Guy
Don't worry too much about it. The more you focus on this stuff, the more you feel bad about yourself. You don't need anyone else to feel good. Instead, you can try focusing on something actually productive that results in something good rather than a pointless kiss.
Most Helpful Girl
I had my first kiss at 19 and first relationship at 20, so I was a pretty late bloomer as well and could relate to the things you're feeling. It sounds like your lack of experience is giving you low self-esteem and anxiety about your future. Experience aside, the truth is that a lot of people our age are depressed about being single and not having found "the one" yet. Basically, you're not alone -- I hope you know that.
Your inexperience isn't weird unless you make it weird by being awkward about it. Own it. The right guy will find it cute and respect you. In the meantime, try to work on your confidence. Go to the gym and get those happy endorphins flowing. Be positive. You're young and have so much time to find someone.
Maybe try online dating? It's an easy way to meet people and get some dating experience, plus you don't have to compete with your friends or anything like that. And it's not like it's a taboo thing in this day and age.