What type of relationship is this?

Me and my boyfriend of almost a year, This is us now... we live about 30-40 mins from each other. I drive to see him all the time after i get off work at 7:30. I work everyday but Sunday. My boyfriend drives once a month maybe to me. I confront him all the time about it. His new excuse is that he is trying to sell his fancy car and doesn't want to add miles to it. I mean i get it but it kinda makes me feel like the miles aren't worth losing for a visit to see me. We never go out. we watch netflix everytime I come over or sometimes he wants to just lay and relax no tv, no sleeping just lay there. That would be great if he was a big talker. He hates communicating. So i am just laying here looking at walls thinking why did i drive 40 mins for this. Every once in a while he takes me out he says something sweet and we have a great time. That makes up for all the boredum. The other thing is when we get on the phone we talk for like a minute and then neither of us have anything to say so we get off the phone even though we both dont want to bc of the silence on the phone. there is nothing left to say. It sucks! I feel like an old married couple. I tell him everything I feel, i tell him i am bored, i tell him i wanna go out some, i tell him i feel like an old married couple. He disagrees and thinks were great together. I have litterally said i am glad ur great I am not. He doesn't really seem to care he is happy and thinks i am just over thinking the whole thing. HELP has anyone been in one of these?


Most Helpful Girl

  • ... It kinda makes me fee like the miles aren't worth it...
    He is Obviously this happy fat cat who is Contented just to Do the same thing over and over again as though you both Were... An old married couple. He is Not hep on changing his old lazy ways and if you think it would be Better being married to him, Think again... It would end up to be war of the Roses, going down a badly beaten problem path. It's a sad case of a Full circle pattern that will never end.
    The writing is on the wall and all that with you being this Sweet pussy cat Enabler, you are Allowing him to get away with it. You make the effort, spend all your own free time and hard earned money on going to him, which is a stone's throw to me who still has a husband half way around God's country, but even so, he doesn't only but make some sort of dopey dud effort to pick himself Up and visit you once in a blue moon in the month.
    He is saying 'Were great together' because he knows in his heart, that along with any Extra goodies you give him on each visit, there isn't a girl alive who would do what you do or do it His hay day way.
    The next time you talk to Lazy Bones, Inform him to stay on the phone longer than 'A minute,' and lay down your own ground rules, be more of a straw boss and tell him as long as you are making the groove move to Hit the highway to travel, he better get off his butt to do more than have you sit there like a couch potato. If he hymns and haws, tell him to Hit the Highway and... Adios, amigo.
    Ask yourself Now: Is HE worth it?
    Good luck. xx

    • i have been forward with him. I have laid down the law. Its not doing any good. I just found out now that he isn't going to be available for the next 5 days for me. he has a guy night, and he needs rest, etc etc. its crazy i have told him he isn't putting forth an effort and he disagrees. I think i am going to take the next 5 days to think and decide what to do.

    • Guy's night? Which means probably Going out, which I find that if so, he is doing Out things with them and not with you? And even if they all crowd around in the house, this louse, do some soul searching seriously... He is boring and life is too short and you toooo amazing for someone who is a fat cat and sits in a corner like Little Jack Horner. xx

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What Girls Said 2

  • If he's not putting in any effort he's already told you how he feels about the relationship.

    • thats what i was afraid of.

  • Honestly, I would break up, I had a boyfriend ohe once, I went to his place all the time, he never to mine, did not work out. For a relationship to work you both have to put effort in it, and, more important, you both have to be happy. Do you see yourself living this life for the rest of your life? what kind of boyfriend is so selfish, that he ignores your feelings about the realtionship?
    goodluck :) my advice

    • no i can verily take it anymore.

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