Any helpful advice on loneliness, I'd appreciate it.

Don't worry, you can answer this question, I'm not going to pester you with emotional and dramatic responses : )

There are people I know, "friends", but I can't bring myself to contact them because they're doing so much better in life than I am. Some are getting married, and I've never been on a proper date in my life. I feel way too inadequate to ever have a girlfriend--almost like no girl would ever be interested in me, unless she were totally desperate.

I just want people to talk to, but I can't bring myself to do it. (Can't hang out with them either; I have limited mobility, practically housebound right now.) Add to that feeling inferior, social anxiety and awkwardness, etc. I know improvement is possible, but I don't know where to start.

And I'm not suicidal, but I'm telling you the truth, the pain of it all is getting to be too much for one guy to handle.


Most Helpful Girl

  • No body on this earth is an angel, where we think their life is much better than us. People who married, their responsibility and difficulty is much heavy than us, they are facing challenges in their marriages, faithful issues, scandal, and so forth. The only sweet couples that we can think in happy marriages are those that understand and trust to each other. So, it doesn't mean, when you friends married and you're not, you life is disaster and they are happily ever after. No, life is unpredictable and SO challenging especially in love life, where we have to fight for each other.Therefore, if you haven't date yet, or find someone that special. You are still in freedom zone. Don't be rushing or hurry in finding the one that you aim for marry. Enjoy life, don't push or force your self getting into social like club just to get someone there, it doesn't work naturally because you push your self to involve with them. Take time and relax, hang out with your friends that you close with, the least you expect, the huge potential you will find someone that good for you.

    • Thank you, this is pretty insightful. I don't have close friends right now : (

      But I'll be thinking about what you said here.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • How about this, meet new people hang out and it would be like a new you jus be yourself. If you have nothing else to do then jus go out alone and meet new ppl

    • Thanks. I wanna try that but I don't know where to begin, and it's hard for me to get out of the house most days.

    • Why, if you want to meet new people join a club or get a job meet new people somehow

What Guys Said 1

  • I used to think like this too. Then, at age 19, I got a girlfriend. I thought, "maybe, if I can make just one person happy, I'll be happy." It started out fine, but eventually, she roflstomped all over me because I felt like this. I became her punching bag. She recently admitted to using sex against me to gain control. As in, by agreeing to it and then crying afterward about how she didn't really want to. All the while, during that time, she was preaching about how she believed that relationships were about trust. I trusted her with a f***ing lame-ass journal about how goddamn depressed and lonely I was, and she turns around and pulls that sh*t. And then of course, there's the generic "I had a bad day, so I'm going to yell at you and make you feel like sh*t." The last time I was treated so poorly was in f***ing middle school.

    And she didn't appear to be a high upkeep girl at first. No makeup, an avid reader of fantasy and history, and a sciences major. Still a bitch that can't accept that you might want to do something other than play with her hair all day. She'll put you on a guilt trip if you so much as work on homework because you would like a decent job.

    Anyway, one night, after crying my stupid f***ing ass off after her latest verbal assault, I decided, f*** it, I'll be a self-serving d***. I slowly became more and more heartless, and watched as she treated me with more kindness. Would you respect someone who does that?

    And women wonder why men don't have much emotion...

    To conclude, the closeness you desire doesn't exist. To cope, the road I've decided on is: find earned acceptance in attempting to excel at a hobby. (for me, currently video game modding. And I've also found drum lessons to be very fun, even if I'm not very good; beating on stuff and having it sound cool is great stress relief) I know you probably won't believe me that you're not missing out on much, but maybe it will help.

    • Well, I do have a hard time believing it, lol, but I see your point. I've never had so much as one girl expressing any interest in me whatsoever--like I'm not worth being physically/emotionally close to, and that hurts. I still feel like a loser (the hobbies don't help--I'm a musician too). I'm sure you'll find a better girlfriend though--I know there are better girls out there...