My boyfriend freaks out when I say I love him?

He always say he likes me and misses me and I'm beautiful etc but he never say he loves me. Well I'm feeeling it so strong I have to tell him I really love him and he freaks out. He was like "Don't say that. It scares me. I don't know what love is. Do you?" Omg wtf how am I gonna explain now without making it too awkward or cheesy?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sucks to be him then, I very much miss those three little words.

    Well if he's never experienced love before or been in any seesiours relationships that would explain it.

    But what about you? Are you truly saying it for real and do you feel true genuine feelings towards this man?

    • He's 18 (relatively young) and never really been in a serious relationship before.

      I have true genuine feelings for him and I like everything about him even if it's his imperfections anyway I love him for real I'm not just saying the three words for the sake of it... but he doesn't understand what it means he asked me to explain :/

    • Lol that's the thing you can't fully explain love anybody who's ever been truly in love knows this. It's kind of something you have to experience yourself before you can understand it to a degree. As for your feelings good.

      The best you can do is explain to him what love is to you, explain what you're feeling to the best of your knowledge. And explain to him this is not something to be afraid of.

Most Helpful Girl

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What Guys Said 6

  • This is an absolutely easy fix... unfathomably easy. However, before I say it I want to make positive you said the words to him. So you told him you love him and he shelled up a bit?

    • Yeah I always say "I like you so much" to him because I was afraid it's kinda early to say I love him maybe he'll find it odd, but we've been together for a year and I really love him just saying these three words can't even describe enough how I feel about him but yeah I told him "I love you" and he freaks out...

    • @asker The fix is going to go against the grain on everything you will want to do but it is also the easiest, and most important by the way, lesson you will need to learn: You need to not say it again until reciprocation takes place. Go about your business, be with him, don't change who you are, don't change anything, and, most of all, do not nag him about it and never even (not even once... never, nil, zip, nada, no) bring up that word until he says it to you or HE brings it up to you.

      Why is this done? For two major reason. The first is that it shows you are confident in your own skin, were honest but aren't one who is going to go bananas because he isn't there yet as that is absolutely (fully) normal. What couples do you know that both, on the same day, fell for each other? It's rare to say the least. The second is that you throw the ball into his court totally so it will consume him, he will question himself why you aren't saying it and thus will consider it.

      Easy, be patient!

  • Your boi needs to introduce a little bit o' Foreigner into his life. 💚

    • I don't know that a person can really explain what love feels like. You damn well know when it's here, though.

      He's an 18 year old boy. Cut him a little slack, provided that his actions show you love. He'll figure out the rest on his own, in due time.

    • His action does show he cares. But I can't help but telling him how I really feel about him and now he keeps asking me to explain how does it feel like ughhhh :/

  • He probably doesn't believe in stupid shit like fairy tales and destiny either. Smart man.

  • Wait so he so he doesn't understand love?

    • He's 18 he never really have a serious relationship with a girl before so he said he doesn't know what love is. He knows what having a crush and having feelings towards someone feel like but the word "love" is too big for him to understand. That's what he said... :/

    • Oh I see. Most people already understand what love is even if they've never been in a relationship before, like me. I was just a bit surprised.

  • lol he is (may be) scared of commitment

  • Maybe he's one of those guys who actually has a notion of what love should actually be, not just something you say after dating for more than a month or two. Maybe he's one of those people who prefers not to rush things and to take it slow (very smart move BTW).

    • We've been together for 1 year...

    • One year, five years, twenty years. What is time? On a serious note, I suppose you need to explain your definition of love, ask him how he feels, ask him where he sees you guys in the future, does he want a future, and all of that jazz and go from there

    • He said he does have feelings for me on an emotional level and he thinks about me a lot blah blah :/
      He said if things work out well I wanna make me his wife cuz I'm a wifey material according to him..

What Girls Said 2

  • It'd be a great idea to have a deep conversation about this and find out what the underlying issue is. How long have you both been together anyway?

    • We've been together for over a year.
      He has trust issues and never really have a serious relationship before that might be why?

    • Of course that could be why, but you guys need to discuss this because if you are being told to stop saying it when it's obviously not a malicious thing to say, it's very telling on his part. In the meantime, I'd stop saying it just out of pure discouragement. Does he love you but just can't say it? Some people can't do it and show it through actions only.

    • His actions show he does care about me. When I'm super stressed out and upset for example he hugs me and cries. I know he does have feelings for me he just don't know what love is and I can't explain to him what it is. He has to feel it himself and I think he's feeling it he just doesn't know what it is maybe it's kinda odd tbh.

  • Maybe he has been hurt in the past.

    I know I also don't like it when a guy says I love you because I know they don't mean it.

    Love is something you feeel after being with that person for months

    • I've been with him for more than a year... At first yeah it was a crush but over months I can feel love while he's there like "I don't know what love is":/

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