Are my boyfriend and I incompatible?

When I'm with my boyfriend, I feel like a million bucks. There are qualities that I love about him that are EXTREMELY rare in my experience. However, there are things that I don't know if I can take. For example, he only talks to me maybe once a week. He doesn't communicate much, and he doesn't take me out on dates. We only meet at his apartment (no we haven't slept together). OK, I know what you are thinking, it doesn't sound like much of a relationship and it doesn't sound like he actually likes me all that much. But I really think it's just who he is. He is really different from all other guys, and I think these things are kind of the consequence for the qualities that I love about him (really passionate about work, etc). I haven't been able to find anyone that I really liked before him because of those rare qualilties that I look for, but I don't think I can take this pseudo relationship for long. I'm not high maintenance but I would like somewhat of a normal relationship (talking regularly, going out on dates), and I don't know if he wants those things. Sure, I could ask him for more couple-like behavior, but I don't want it to be like a job for him if he doesn't naturally desire those things. Are we just incompatible? Can this relationship ever work out?
it's not that he is not affectionate, he is SUPER affectionate. I am just not ready to sleep with him yet.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Maybe he's just shy, or waiting for you to initiate the couple behavior. Honestly I dream about hugging and kissing my girlfriend, but she's really shy and awkward around me, so I have to wait until she is ready to go that far. Don't worry, when he's ready he'll let you know.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • i don't know. this could be the proof of the presence of platonic love. i think you need to a quill to start off now.


What Girls Said 1

  • I dated someone like that before. You're going to have to make a choice whether you can deal with it, or it's time to walk away. I had to. His family wasn't very affectionate, so he grew up in a home where you don't express or show how you feel about someone. Even though he cared for me (which I only realized once he cried when I finally ended it) I couldn't deal with it anymore.

    I felt like more of a friend then girlfriend, and he shouldn't have to change his personality to make me happy. You have some serious thinking to do. If it helps, in the end I was happy about my decision. Hopefully he and I will find someone more suitable if it's meant to be. I just know I'm happier now than I was then.


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