Friend-zoning a girl to make her attracted?

I don't know what else to call this and I know the title isn't ideal. Personally, I hate the idea of the "friendzone" and games in general. But, trouble is using any kind of logic and being a straightforward person has failed me over and over over the years dating and talking to girls. This is how it usually goes... A girl is usually highly interested in me... we talk, things progress, I end up liking her back and I'm open and honest about it... then the relationship/friendship/fling DIES. This is SO frustrating I cannot say enough. I don't know why women do this. The girl I talk to is upset that I don't like her back then when I come around and do, logically, she should like me more. INSTEAD, she stops talking to me. Most deny anything is wrong then quietly let me ago, which drives me nuts telling someone they still like you but clearly they dont, then ignore me and avoid me like some creep. From my perspective, they wait till I have feelings for them and at my weakest then leave. I guess some in my past have purposely done this cause they hated men and were vengeful but supposidly "not me". But others, I don't get it. Only one or two girls/women I have talked to has mentioned why. And even then, it's just "idk, you changed" then won't say how. I don't feel like I changed, I just liked them back after awhile as far as I'm concerned.

So, I'm convinced people are only attracted when the other person is friend-zoning them or rejecting them in someway. This defies all logic. But, I don't understand how people end up in long term relationships where two people like/love each other and stay together. Me personally, Id rather the person be straightforeward and I can stay attracted and interested when the other person openly likes me. In fact, acting hard to get or friend zoning me makes me uninterested. So, why is it with girls that it's the opposite? They say they want the guy to like them back and cry about it to their friends... but when he comes around and does, she becomes uninterested and stops talking to him.
So I get friendzoned or worse when I like a girl back. This has happened over and over again over the years. So, what if I start turning the tables and friendzoning them? But, not straightforward but just the appearance of friendzoning so she's unsure? I'm convinced there needs to be this "tension" and uncertainty otherwise it kills the attraction.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Whether you realize it or not, you are probably giving off a different vibe. You might be more excited to talk or more eager to make plans. There's nothing wrong with that, and with the right girl there will be no such thing as "too excited" or "too eager".

    • I'm so confused about this. Right now kindve confused and angry... just had this recently happen. She wanted me to like her back, so I came around, everything was amazing the last night we saw each other, then the next day boom, completely ignoring me to not responding at all. Saw her out somewhere coincidentally and not only she ignores me but walks off very quickly like I'm stalking her, which I wasn't.

      If there's nothing wrong with being more eager and that's what a girl supposidly wants, I don't get why it has the opposite reaction. This one girl she was crying to her friends that I didint like her back. Then I do and she wants nothing to do with me, not even friends and thinks I'm a creep cause I have feelings for her now. I really really don't get this. I've just been having very bad luck. I'm decently attractive and charming too. My friends who are girls don't get why I don't have or have had a girlfriend. They think highly of me.

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    • ask her tonight to make plans this weekend, Friday night or sometime Saturday

    • Her cookout is this weekend and I kindve don't want to go. I could go out with the guys and meet other girls and make her jealous lol. She's always so busy so it's hard to ever make plans with her. She does full time school and works like 2 jobs in addition or something ridiculous.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Try it out. Act like you have lots of options and kind of ignore the girl and tease and make fun of her sometimes to make her feel like a normal friend would feel. I think it will work.

    • I've always teased girls and had a personality. But, haven't really done the ignoring part cause I'm not into games. If I like a girl, I've been open about it and I've never told a girl that I like her when she didint like me back. So all these girls were into me. But, as a result of liking them back and being straightforward about, it somehow kills their attraction. I've never understood it. It defies logic like I said.

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    • Women seek men with confidence, drive, ambition, and strength of will. Guys generally seek women who are yeilding, caring, beautiful, and receptive.

    • True but I think women want a guy to be caring too. I also tend to like to see in a women what you mention women generally like to see in men. I guess we re all different.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 1

  • Hey guy, happens to me too.

    It's fucking stupid; their loss, though.

    • But it's frustrating as shit. How are relationships successful when one person has to constantly remain uninterested for it to work?

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    • You see a ton of questions from girls on this site asking "why is he ignoring me?" Or "why is he playing games"... well if those men dont, those same exact girls become uninterested in them. It's messed up and your damned if you do, damned if you dont!

    • They just want attention and don't want to reciprocate it cause they have a million other options but get upset when one option ignores them

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