Do I have to high expectations towards guys when it comes to dating?

do i have too hight expectations when it comes to dating if i expect things to go super well on the first or/and second date, and if it doesn't i question us dating?

And i have problems dating a guy whos likes things like motor sports, or motorcycles... for some reason thats a huge turn off for me.. im not even sure why lol... is that weird? And it aslo a turn of it the guy doesn't do sports or goes to the gym.. if he doesn't have a job or/and studies its a turn off (mostly because im going to uni and i have a job, so if a gy doesn't haven neither i dont see it working)

The last guy i went on dates with loved motorcycles.. and driving really fast, but i didn't know before the second date and i just lost any attraction i had towards him (not just because of that, but it was a factor)...

Why am i so weird with this? it shouldn't matter, dont you think?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Depends how rigid you are about it. Personally I used to do loads of sports but then I got injured and can't be bothered with the gym for a while. I also like motorsports but I can understand why some girls wouldn't like that, however I'm passionate enough about racing to think it belongs on the track and I don't speed around on the roads like an asshole. Most girls see dating as a box ticking exercise and the person sitting opposite them doesn't matter, he'll be judged against a set of prerequisites. Guys just want a girl who they find pretty, isn't fat and is a nice person. Girls tend to want a lot more than that and that's why they get lied to and messed about.

    • i think i dont like motorsports because of the speed part that makes it very risky.. so maybe i dont like it because im subcniously worring about him gettin hurt if we end up in a relationship at some point...

      And i dont think i can disagree with you.. i think you're pretty spot on..

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    • i get your point.. and you're right.. education doent necessarly make stability, but i feel like the chances are higher then if the guy droped out of high school for example.. If i met a guy tomorrow and he's was "perfect" but worked at a gas station that wouldn't be a deal breaker.. But if he still worked at a gas station by the time we were planning to have kids or buy i house then i would want him to get a better paid job.. i wouldn't leave him.. but you get my point

    • Yeah I hear you and I think that's totally reasonable, you can't afford a family on a shit wage. I wish more girls were as objective as you are!

Most Helpful Girl

  • The whole job / education thing I agree. Why would you want to date a bum? But the sports/gym/hobby thing you're being a little picky as long as he's healthy and has fun why should it matter what he does in his spare time.

    • yeah, you're right... i mean at the end of the day i just want someone respects me and someone i can have fun with etc.. it really shouldn't matter if likes motorcycles or not...

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What Guys Said 2

  • Its normal it takes time to find the right one. Everyone has their turn offs. Yours seem apropriate, except if you can't like something thats his hobby your giving him an ultamatum which terrifies us guys. If its our girl or our hobby its one of the hardest things on a guys mind if your partner hates your favorite other activity. Especially if they threaten to break off the relationship. This type of pushing away can be a huge turn off. Ruin the romance and intimacy, your guy can be as emotional as anyone. If you love afternoon cuddling you can kiss that goodbye. Cause your boyfriend would feel alone so if he has a hobby you dont like tell him dont hide it be straight forward. After all if its a real relationship and your his princess and you arnt smiling when he is he's going to pester you till you say it. That is if he really does love you.

  • you are a weird individual with whom i would want to have no relation. you are disturbed and have a screw loose. i neither do sports, go to uni or have a job currently but that doesn't make me any less of a man or any less worthy as a human. of course i won't go in details explaining to you why my situation is currently like that cause simply it would be wasted to a sub-human like you... .

    • why would i want to date someone who can't do anything? someone i can't go out to eath with? can't go on vacation with? I have no plans carrying a guy a whole relationship..

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    • earlier not later*

    • Thanks, I appreaciate your honesty, even though i dont necessarly agree in the way you precented some of your opinions, I do agree on thing you did say. My feelings werent hurt, i was more frustrated more then anything because i know im not what you were trying to imply i am, and i wanted to prove it. I have a lot of issues when it comes to dating, partly because of insecutiries, partly because of lack of experience, i know very little about it and myself in dating scenes. I do need work, and im trying to improve myself everyday, i belive i "needed" someone like you to "tell me how it is". i need to reflect over my actions and my mentality.. i mean the way i think now haven't landed me a boyfriend so i obviously need to change something. Have a nice day too

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