Is it normal for her to back off if she caught feelings?

So I took this girl I work with on a date. I thought we had fun as we were laughing a good majority of the time. She also went into some her past and you could see she has been hurt. I was surprised she shared some of this stuff with me. She actually told coworkers how fun the date was and that she had a great time. The problem was it seems like she has been a little distant lately. She has been commenting and liking pictures I put on social media. In person she is friendly but seems hesitant almost like she is keeping me at arms length.

Should I back off? What is going on?


Most Helpful Girl

  • She's scared of being hurt.
    The pain she has felt from her past relationships is allowing her defense to go up.
    This is where you should step in and show her there's nothing to be afraid of, and that you truly care for her.
    With time she will grow to trust that you won't.
    But now she remains wary because she is used to hurt.

    • So how can I do this without scaring her off

    • When she seems a little cold mention to her that you can feel herself distancing away from you.
      I am not sure if she does this subconsciously (as a now natural defense mechanism).
      Continue to show that you do like her by contacting her.
      Eventually if you do get together (officially) this is a issue you both have to work on together.
      It takes time for these things to go away.
      There's only so much you can do.
      You just have to be there for her , show you like her, and eventually she will let her guard down enough to trust you.
      Whether she chooses to run away from you or not (because she is too scared) really all as to do if she feels she's ready for a relationship or not.

Most Helpful Guy

  • This would be a perfect time to give her some time to think about how she is reacting to you and how you should be reacting to her. Defiantly back off because if you start to pressure her, you'll lose her for sure. I'm certain she likes you, but girls have to look at almost everything about a guy before they start dating, and since you're co-workers, I suspect she's weighing the prospects of dating a co-worker. So to answer your question, yes, it is very normal for girls to back up and look at what she's feeling. This is your time to do the same.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Just back off too.


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