Girls, I am 30yr old virgin male. Am I wrong in expecting a virgin female partner? Is it my bad luck?

Girls, pls. answer responsibly as ur comments might affect my perceptions of expecting a pure life long relationship as I am a one woman man. Thanks.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I wouldn't necessarily use the word 'wrong' but you are certainly being unrealistic.

    First of all, purity is not a matter of how much activity your genital has encountered. There are plenty of virgins who are far from mentally, emotionally, and spiritually pure. The extra layer of skin in a vagina does not instantly guarantee a sense of purity. There are plenty of non-virgins who have the purest of hearts.

    Second, the odds that you will find a 30 year old virgin who was not raised by wolves, who did not spend her entire life locked away in a mental hospital, who is not a nun, or who is not extremely unattractive physically or personality wise is very rare. Not impossible but rare. The truth is that sex is an evolved awareness of self. Through sex, you discover parts of who you are that have never existed in any other phase of life. It's actually a very beautiful thing for someone's womanhood.

    Anyhow, to sum it up; you're going to have to get over this if you ever want to be happy. A vagina that has not experienced sex is not going to guarantee all the other important factors of a harmonious, compatible, loving relationship. There are plenty of females out there who are faaaar from virgins yet they can still do amazing, wondrous, gracious things with their bodies. They can cook a full course meal, they have the knowledge to lead you to the healthiest life, no one can move on the dance floor quite like them, they can craft and massage with their hands... Try to expand your thinking :)

    • Thanks for ur reply. So do I leave it up to god to decide this for me? What do u suggest? I'm really worried about my marriage.

    • I just think you need to be realistic about the honest fact that an extra layer of skin (hymen) in a vagina guarantees nothing. It does not guarantee that a female is emotionally and mentally healthy without baggage. Considering mental illness, social disorders, and the fact that baggage can accumulate from familial upbringing, emotional and mental stability is not dependent on sexual encounters. There's no secure assurance that a virgin will be better at taking care of your heart or functioning in a relationship. Being the first penis to touch her vagina is not going to ensure a certain type of relationship. These are facts. Yes, the self-discipline and commitment to being a virgin is admirable and very respectable. But you absolutely need to keep in mind that virginity is not a determining factor of a woman and her capabilities.

    • I suggest that you stop primarily seeking virgins and start redirecting your focus to what the woman can do on EVERY LEVEL. Think about what she can bring to the table in ways that will last longer than less than 24 hours of virgin sex. Not to undermine or negate the beauty of adult virginity, but just being real: virginity is an act which occurs for under 24 hours. Not even 12 hours. It is limited in it's essence. It's not a renewable womanly resource and it's not some powerful thing that can keep giving.

      A vagina without the extra layer of skin is not going to destroy your marriage before it begins. I promise

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What Girls Said 14

  • It could happen because I know a lady that is old and bitter and never had sex because she never found the right person. I would say she is 50 now. And I had a adorable roommate in college that held out till she was engaged at least. And a coworker that waited till married. But they got married in their early 20's. You shouldn't judge people if they did have sex. I understand beliefs and all I am religious. But seriously at this point you need to have sex cause you are missing your prime! Get it in! It is a beautiful part of life you are missing. I am also a former sex Ed teacher. Some women won't mind getting you through your first experience some will think it is fun even. But honestly men need sexual confidence! Women love that. It could be holding you back. People can sense sexual confidence in a partner when they check each other out. You have to be getting off somehow! Which would make me think is that a sin? everything can be a sin. Sex is part of a healthy life. Responsible sex that is. Drink a few tequila shots with lime dance slow and take your time. And later the clothes fall off. Cause if you are not sexually compatibile with your mate or even if you have religious hang ups about sex she will leave you after you marry. Even if she was s 30 year old virgin. It changes once you get started.

  • It probably depends on where you are looking for your life mate. If you are attending church activities to find her, assuming the church is a more traditional one that preaches abstinence until marriage, then you could probably find her (I know of some girls that are in their mid to late twenties and virgins because I am part of a church like I mentioned). If you are at bars, your odds will be slim to none.

    • But I don't think it's necessary that all girls who visit church have abstained... it's a religious place where people visit for religion. Am I wrong in saying that? Thanks for ur reply anyways

    • Not all who belong to a church are perfect members. That being said, those who are raised in a church and continue to go throughout adulthood would often match the doctrine taught. Such churches include Southern Baptist, Catholics (theoretically at least), Mormons / LDS, and the Amish community. The LDS church even has a special program for 18 - 30 year old singles to help them meet others with the same standards.

  • I'm still a virgin so I don't think so. Though I admit, it might be really difficult to find one that age. Is that the main trait you need? Is it a religious thing? If so, this makes a bit more sense, I suppose.

  • If that's what you want you're not wrong to expect it but it will be difficult to find her especially at that age. Less than 2% of people actually wait until marriage

  • No, you are not wrong and I'm sure there are virgin women out there for you. Just have to find them, they are out there.

    • I know but I'm not sure how to find them or where to find them. I have left it to god.

    • Well I would say try to look for them. They may be on a dating site and there may even be some virgin women around your on this site. I believe in God and I understand waiting on him, but continue looking and then allow God to guide the rest of it from there. I hope all it works out well for you.

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