Guys, Great sex, but I dont understand his behavior?

So, I've met this guy online. We instantly hit it off. After couple of days of chatting, he came over for a drink. We spent the night talking and having fun. I was not sure if he likes me pysically. But than sex happened. :) Which was great. He knew what he was doing, occassionally asked if I like this and that. He also seemed pleased with my performance. :) Afterwards he suggested we shower together (which i never did before). We didn't cuddle. We just took a nap and than he had to go. I escorted him out and simply said "bye, c ya". :) Without kissing or hugging. It felt casual and I really liked the sex.

After couple of hours we exchaned couple casual texts. In the evening I told him I had a good time, he replied he did too. Than I asked him if he would come over for a drink next day and he never replied. Complete silence since than.

I only wanted to continue having casual sexual relationship. But now i dont know what is going on with him for not replying? Did he had sex with me and maybe he didn't find me attractive? (I'm on the chubby side) Or he maybe got frightened as he maybe thinks i want something more serious?

Any ideas?

PS: i dont want anything else as I am fresh out of longterm relationship and I am not ready currently to emotionally commit again.

Update 1: thank you everyone for your opinion. This situation was purely sexual for me and I was not looking/expecting any kind of emotional investment or commitment. I do admit it was related to my selfesteem issues a bit (proving myself "I still got it").

I decided to let it go. It was a nice experience and I will not pursue any further contact with this person as my interest for him also dropped (due to overthinking "what to do").


Most Helpful Guy

  • the guy pursued you, worked on you, and got what he wanted. now he is moving on because, to him, it is a game. even in this "enlightened age" of casual sex, many men do not want to date women who are easy. You just got out of a long term relationship and I can tell you are hurt by it, so you do not want anything serious. That tells me that there is something wrong with how you relate to guys (I am not saying the break up is all your fault). It is usually not about looks or a little weight - it is about the person. A mature man will come back to a woman he finds interesting and fun, in and out of the sack. Any two people can have good sex, regardless of age or looks. But good sex is not enough to interest this man back. he is about the hunt and conquest. After that, he moves on. Of course, he may not be single.

    • Thank you for your opinion. It is a point of view I didn't had in mind. I`m not hurt by his actions - maybe only my ego suffered a bit. :)
      And he is single - as couple of my friends know him, so those facts are checked. :)

    • Thank you for your mature and thoughtful response. I sometimes get less-than-friendly answers. You have some class and good upbringing!

    • Thank you :) I believe that everyones opinion should be read and respected. doesn't matter uf you agree or not. Only manners matter :)

      As I re-read your initial opinion - I just wanted to confirm that I am aware that my actions are not necesarily healthy (due to longterm breakup). But as I found enjoyment in mens company (with this random guy) for the first time after the breakup, i wanted to continue. Because I had trouble before... whenever I got hit on, I felt sick. So, this was the first man that didn't provoke my "throwing up moment" in 2months. So I was just overwhelmed by easiness that appeared in me.

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What Guys Said 6

  • I don't think I can't add very much to what was already said. I get the feeling you are a little self conscious about your body and how you think guys react to it. Was the sex for him or you? I ask because maybe you were using the sex to rope him in a little bit, but the truth is, sex is usually what a lot of guys are looking for. You met on the internet and you already gave him what he'd dream about. So you've given him no reason to stick around and discover the rest of you. It's bad to say but most guys simply don't care once a girl 'gives it up'. Remember, you are a person, first and foremost. And if you want to have a relationship with a guy, you have to be smart about how you're acting. I understand the pain of getting out of a long term relationship (ex of 4 years), but if you want another relationship, be smarter than who you're going up against. Does any of this make sense? I promise I'm not attacking you, I just reread my work and I feel it's more coming down than building up. I really want you to succeed, so please behave in a way that is smarter. Make them earn your attention, or you'll continue to fail because these guys really could be good guys, but you need to present yourself as a better girl.

  • Sometimes when a person wants sex and gets it, that priority falls back down their list of needs/wants.

    I'm sure he had a nice time with you, and it sounds like he enjoyed the physical companionship as much as you did, but if sex was all he wanted at the time, he's likely to put contacting you on the backburner until the need/want arises.

    It might be worth initiating contact with him again, suggesting another get together, and if he responds, then great, but there's a chance he could be done and has moved on to the next without giving it a second thought. That part sucks, but it does happen, unfortunately.

    At least you understand you are also not looking for anything serious, so the thought of not seeing him again is disappointing, but not the end of the world. And, he might have been caught up with stuff or not received your texts... That last part is not likely, but it does happen.

    If you do hear from him and the conversation comes up, just try and help him relax by reiterating you're not looking for anything serious and are just wanting to have fun with no other pressure involved.

    Hope he calls back!

  • Tell him!! It seems he was nervous of sex turning into more than just that, which is how a lot of relationships start nowadays, with sex. But texting him soon after and the very next day shows him that your thinking of him pretty frequently, might have scared him of your intentions. Just make your intentions clear and let it play out!

  • I guess maybe there was just something about you that just put him off. It's no big deal though. Some guys are just picky.

  • Send him a text tell him your horny or wet that will let him know you only want sex.

  • You need to make sure he knows what you want. Wait a little over a week, than send him a message. Be blatantly obvious, like, "Im so horny, and you fucked me so good last time, I want you to cum fuck me again no strigs attached!"

    If there is still nothing than you were jsut a one night stand.


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