Do you need to know what someone wants from you in order to say yes or no, when they ask you out?

I don't think I'd even expect a guy to know why he wants if he's just asking me out on a date. But I asked a guy out and he wanted to know what I wanted. I don't understand why he'd ask me that , or why he need to know
, or why he can't just answer at all.

Like if he likes me shouldn't he want to hang out and figure it out from there? And if he doesn't like me shouldn't he just say no and let me move on?
  • Yes. I have to know what they are asking. As friends or more. Before I'll give an answer.
    Vote A
  • No. I just need to know if I like him/ her. I'll answer based on that and take it from there.
    Vote B
  • Other.
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Oh it's really simple. He believes you are out of his league. He doesn't believe that he has anything worth having for a woman like you. This is not a new feeling. He has been liking you for a while but couldn't muster up enough courage to ask you out. Over time, he got disappointed and believe there are better guys out there for you. So you asking him out must have some motive because you are too perfect to like a guy like him.

    Or he does have something valuable like a butt load of money and thinking you are a gold digger.

    • No he's broke. He's in school.

      What kind of motive could I have in asking him out other than wanting to spend time alone with him- or find out if he even wants to?

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    • Asked him out directly and instead of responding directly and clearly he got defensive and suspicious. So how do I say things in a way where there's no way he can be confused or pretend to be confused.

      I also don't want to say anything too extensive. We need to get to know each other better after all. I really just wanted to keep things simple. But s hard to do that if there's any person who is confused. I think saying I like you is redundant be obviously I like him or I wouldn't have asked him out. Same with wanting to get to know him-- obviously.

      But maybe saying " I would like to solve whatever the problem is which I can't do if I don't know what it is. I want to know why he's upset or confused so I can clear things up and we can put it behind us-- be I like him and I think whatever is going on is getting in the way of us getting to know each other, which I think we both want ... Or getting in the way of me moving on , if Im wrong and he's not interested" .

      Maybe I'll say something

    • Like that.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe he wasn't used to any women asking him out. So he's a little unsure of what to do and really surprised?

    I don't really need to know why. If i'm interested in them at all I'll say yes so I can get to know them more.

    • What's there to do though. You just say yes or no. Plus he's asked me out Beiderbecke so I know he's interested. And we hang lit so he really shouldn't be that surprised.

    • Show All
    • It's kind of hard though bc it should be about how I treat him not other women. But I see your point.

      Any suggestions a to how I deal with it so he trusts me , and I get an answer lol

    • Say that you will pay for your half and that you just want to get to know him better.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Just do whatever feels natural matey.

  • In general, since it's the guys doing the asking, I'd say to the girl "go on the date, you won't know if you don't talk to him."

    But you asked him out. This is out of the ordinary, so, like most guys, he's probably suspecting some kind of bullshit on your part. Like setting him up for something, whether it's just your amusement or maybe you're trying to hurt him in some way.

    • Why would I go out of my way to hurt him? Is this really something a guy would suspect? And how would I go about it. You mean like pretending to like him then not showing up or saying we're just friends or inviting other people... I thought I was asking a very simple straight forward thing.

    • Yeah, totally. I assume my response is going to end up on YouTube, or that she's playing games to show to her friends, or maybe she doesn't like the guy and is trying to set him up for embarrassment.

      Crap like that has happened to me, it's happened to other guys I know, so you just learn to be on guard if a girl shows interest because there's a good chance it's ill intentioned, for whatever reason.

    • Wow that's insane. Sorry that happened to you. I had stuff like that from boys when I was like 9. But I have no interest in hurting people and I can't believe adults do that.

      Thanks for explaining.

      Have any suggestions what I can do so he'll trust I'm not playing games... And so ill get an honest answer:)

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