Complicated situation but I was wondering if I found get advice?

Soo I'm 17 and the age of consent where I live is 16. I have romantic feelings for my former boss who is 33 and he has a girlfriend and a kid. Now that I'm saying it makes me not want to engage anything anymore... I really love this guys personality and over all we have a great friendship he's up there as one of the main people I go to for advice about life. He got me into a lot of awesome stuff I never thought I'd like but once I tried it I started to keep doing it; knive collecting, video games, weaponry, and just being a bad ass plain and simple. When I was working with him I'd say our relationship was mostly sexual tension and when I moved on from the job it turned into a genuine friendship. I have always had feelings for him and I would never say anything because I thought that it was just a crush and it'd go away. I moved cities and we still text here and there he doesn't really call me or try to talk to me really. But since I moved we've texted and talked about the relationship and I told him how I felt and I said that I'd probably dig casual sex if I were to visit and he said he'd ruin me for every other man.. I sent him partial nudes nothing full on and it was good for awhile he talked about wanting to Skype me and send me this knife sheath in the mail. I don't know I still think about him so much and I want to wait and see if later on in my life we can explore the options of being more but not when he lives so far and obviously has feelings for someone else. I feel like he's just a very bad guy and if he was a good guy he wouldve handled everything differently, am I completely naive and retarded or what?
Typo in the main question... But I don't know what I'm waiting for anymore ever since I met him it's been like one year of hell. I don't even like other guys I just like him and I've told him this and he just said he's such a lucky guy and such. The other day he literally just shut down and stopped texting me as much and said I make him a very very bad man. Before he was texting me good night texts and yeah. The whole thing is just stressing me so I'm throwing in the figurative towel.
We were texting everyday almost all day and picture messaging a lot. I want to say I've initiated most of the talking so far and he isn't 100% comfortable with skyping or anything but he's still like my best friend so it's weird. I can't even tell if he likes me over text so it's kinda fucked up. I think if I just stopped holding a torch for him to come and fuck with my heart every time he talks to me instead of talking about the future I'd be happier and find interest in someone my own age


Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think it's gonna be a good thing if you continue. Besides age gap being too big I don't think it would work due to situations that already happened (like him saying that you make him a bad man), he has a girlfriend too...

    • Its probably not the last few times I texted him I sent him a picture because he said I could send them everyday if I wanted too and he just I don't know compliments me and doesn't seem to want to talk. I don't want to make him feel obliged to keep me in his life because the truth is he has a kid and lives too far and I don't know how he feels about his girlfriend but he's said he's always had a thing for me, it really hurts that nothing happened and nothing ever will like it hurts me more than him. I feel like if I continue I'd just feel used even more and I'd be more damaged than I already am. It sucks because I don't even think we can be close friends right now I like him too much and also he isn't really being a friend by doing this shit kindve being a dick and not considering my feelings

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    • What you're feeling is normal, I think you were actually in love and all this disappoint and the feeling of being hurt are things that happen when you see that things can't go further. Time will heal this wounds, only time.

    • these* wounds

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think you should continue with him.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I am 29, and I wouldn't date anyone under 21. I think you're putting yourself in a really bad position, along with him considering everything you know. Its true you might really like him, even love him, but trust me, you have better options out there. And think about this, if you hook up with him, he still has a girlfriend. So if you do get what you want and end up with him, are you comfortable knowing he's fine cheating with someone else, regardless of age? Food for thought


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