Should I share negative emotions of mine with him?

I have been knowing this guy for almost a month and started dating for more then a week. He texted me everyday and we exchanged short conversations. When we hang out or went on a date, he put his arm across my lower back and rested on my waist when we walked. He rested his hand on my leg for a very long time ay movies and slightly stroking my thigh with his thumb. I can tell that he is interested, though I cannot tell what kind and how much.

The question sounds stupid, but this is the first time that I have no clue on a date. For my previous dates, I had no second thought of telling them (not often though) when I felt needed: things not going well at work, upsetting by friends, dramas, etc. Probably because my previous dates were all very caring people, and they had emotional attachment with me before any physical contact; while my current date seems to me who needs to have fun all the time, and that makes me uncomfortable to talk negative things because it may sound like a burden to him. No, my previous dates/relationships didn't fail because of my negative emotions; in fact they were attracted because they loved to take care of people. Those didn't work out or broke up in the end because of some other reasons, if you are wondering.

Should I share with him with things not going well on me and my negative emotions at this stage? Does he sound like the kind that can handle negative thoughts?

Update: I am disappointed. I text him but didn't dump it all on him, like with just one sentence "i didn't want to share bad news with u but things didn't work out for me :(" - I had told him that I had been handling some issues. now I feel truly upset when things failed and hoped that I could slightly emotionally rely on him, he avoids responding to my message. Seriously? That one text ruins his day and my impression to him?


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What Guys Said 1

  • I would say hold off on that wait for awhile and feel it out. If you dump it all on him most-likely he won't feel the same

    • not quite dump it all on him. Plus He knows what I am going through. I act positive all the time but it is just unrealistic that one has no depressed period.

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    • Personally I love emotional connection and if she doesn't share everything with me I know something is wrong Haha. Still perhaps just make the run meaning just try telling him. My past partners aren't very caring lol so I think its my experience at life hindering me:P sorry

    • That's too bad for you. I think we both think the same that connecting emotionally is a must. And yes, if the partners dont care about you, you are just that low or not important enough in their life. I do understand that being capable to indepandent and avoid being needy are very important too, but if i need extra caution to handle just a little bit negative feeling... Well...

What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe he needs to have fun all of the time to escape negative feelings of his own... Maybe he wants all of his time with you to be happy and carefree so that you both can feel positive. With that being said, this doesn't mean he can't handle hearing or helping you with those feelings, but it would be best to wait to share them until the two of you have been dating longer, and have a deeper connection. All of that excitement that comes from starting a new relationship could be dampened if you put too much focus on these negative feelings. For now, try to work on them with a friend, yourself, or therapist if needed. When you finally do share them with him, he will feel less overwhelmed because you spent all of the previous dates doing your best to show that you are able to have fun and smile, despite these things that may bother you. It will help him know that you can take care of yourself and are only looking to him for help because you care for him and value his opinions- Not because you're a burden

    • He complained about his job to me too, but on my side, he is more excited when I talked about having fun or sports, and less responsive on slightly more serious talks. I have been trying to hide all my issues from him because I think the same as you. Avoid being needy. Though It sounds to me that he is not looking for someone to take care with - of coz not entirely but part of the connection in a relationship.

    • He may just be bad at knowing how to comfort a woman or cheer her up. He may not be used to women opening up to him, even if you did keep it brief. I realize you updated the question and mentioned that he ignored your text, but give him the benefit of the doubt that he's just feeling awkward and doesn't know what to say, and is scared of saying the wrong thing. If he doesn't text back at all or keeps being unavailable to you as emotional support in the future, I guess he may not be right for your needs. Best of luck!

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