I have a hard time moving on... What should I do?

I broke up with my boyfriend recently and I thought I was fine.. I mean I started seeing different people etc. But then one day I saw him at this party with his ex and they were pretty close. But when he saw me he didn't look so happy and all of a suddenhe backed away from her. But sinse then I simply can't stop thinking about him. What should I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Having lingering feelings for someone is an extremely human trait. More so, it means you actually have heart. Those feelings don't just shut off and they weren't meant to. Imagine having a fight with your partner, so you walk away and shut off all the love you felt for him instantly. There would be no relationships. So the fact that you still feel that way is your mind telling you that you cared. Realize that you are grieving the death of your relationship, regardless of who broke up with whom. It's going to hurt. I like to view it as a heart operation. You grew this heart for someone and now you just had your heart removed so you feel empty. Now it's time to get a new heart with someone else. And this new heart is going to be even stronger from all the experiences you had from before. Don't be sad, be happy that you had a chance to know them and that you learned so much about relationships and yourself. Give it time and try to really focus on your own things. Pick a project and start working towards that. After me and my girlfriend broke up, I focused on school and spending quality time with my family (I live far from home so I had to make the effort to visit). You're not alone and make sure you surround yourself with lots of friends and support.

    • Thank you so much! This really means a lot... Its just that I can't imagine him with anyone else but me. I guess I still feel like he's ''mine''..

    • Trust me, I know exactly how you feel. Just remember, the things your feeling are natural and need to take their course. Time is the universe's way of making sure everything doesn't happen at once. Time is a great sifter of things, so don't worry, things will work out I promise.

    • Thank you so much!

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What Girls Said 1

  • Best bet is to #1 focus on improving yourself (extra gym time, etc), #2 think about what you want in someone else, and #3 find someone new (this last part works the best for me to truly emotionally move on... just be careful/ try not to make any of the mistakes you made in the prior relationship, and that you don't settle for someone who doesn't truly have the qualities that you want in someone)

    • Your advice is really nice and all.. its just hat its hard for me to except that he's with someone else... I mean its not like I'm a saint, I date different guys too, but this is his ex.. plus i still have that feeling that he's ''mine'' you know what i mean?

    • I totally know what you mean. Honestly, you will NEVER feel 100% ok with seeing an ex date someone else when you are still kind of fresh out of the relationship. In fact, I get a little tinge of uncomfortable/ weird feelings when I see any one of my exes (I have many lol) with someone else, even if it has been years or if I was the one who broke up with them.

      You're not alone in feeling like this, and although it sucks, it really just takes time (and preferably not seeing him if you can avoid it) for the feelings to fade away. I understand if you go to school together, that not seeing him may be tough... But remember that this is the worst you're going to feel. And really try to get your feelings invested in someone new

    • Thank you so much!

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