He loves her, but had sex with me, he's not cheating, but I want more and he doesn't?

So me and this guy have hanged out a couple of times, we both recently broke up with the people that we were dating, we are just friend right now, but we had sex like 4 days ago, and I thought it would lead to a relationship, but he's hung up on his ex, and I understand, he should still fell something for her, but she broke up with him, it makes me sad that he can't move on and is going all googly eyes for her, when all she wants is to be friends... and I promise him I wouldn't interfere and try to separate them, but I just need advise


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  • Well as you said all of it is understandable even though things are not going the way you want. When it comes to sex women have a higher chance of become emotional and feel it may lead to something more when for the man it is just sex. The fact that she broke up with him is also very telling, if it was up to him they would still be together. You need to leave him alone and let him deal with his feelings. When he finally gets that she does not want him in that way he will move on physically and leave her alone, but be forewarned it may take more months and time for him to get over her, and if the breakup is fresh they may get back together. Also even if you two were in a relationship by the way he seems to be feeling she could easily have him back when she is ready. You may have had him physically but unfortunately for you his heart is still with her. So you have to ask yourself is that all you want to be to him is something that is just physical? If not you need to set boundaries and move on or you can wait (I don't recommend) till he is over her.

  • If a guy was really into a girl it's likely going to take a long long time for him to come around and even then it's not to say he'll want to pursue something with you. It has been proven many times now that people can actually have sex with others without actually wanting more. For some it is purely a physical act and they can separate feelings from it. If you want to be seen as girlfriend material then it's time to stop handing sex out on a plate and to instead focus more on spending quality time with him outside the bedroom. Get to know him, build memories and focus on building a good solid foundation for friendship. That way when he has finished healing you could stand a chance. But please don't be *that* girl who sleeps with a guy hoping he'll develop feelings for her in the process. That's not how it works and many girls have learnt this the hard way.


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