What do you think of the great paradox involving hot women?

Over the years I've come to realize that if you really want to get a hot girl, you have to like her for things other than her looks. I won't go into why this is so as it's not the point of this question, but I know that it's true. If you want to be a guy who gets hot girls, you have to not care that much about her hotness. In other words, if you really want it you have to learn not to want it all that much. I don't know about you but I think this sucks for men. As I started to learn to like women for reasons other than their looks, I slowly realized that looks isn't worth all that much. A hot girl wouldn't have the effect on me as they did before, which means I also ended up not really liking girls that much period. I hated it. Sometimes I wonder if I had been better off living in my bubble even when I was unable to get the hot girls I really wanted. It depends though, is it better to have something you don't want, or want something you can't have?


Most Helpful Girl

  • if you go by wanting something you don't want the relationship will go downhill as of lack of interest unless you get to know that person on an emotional level.

    Going for something you can't have is always difficult because you'll have low self esteem and that relationship also can smither.

    there are different ways to approach these and its to have self confidence and your right not to go by things by how people look but how you get to know them. I am the same but some guys im really attracted to don't know how to approach me while I am approachable either they just like to look so be it but at some point we'd have to get to know eachother on that level

    • exactly. whether have something you don't want, or want something you can't have, either way you're losing out

    • lol right!! or act as if wanting something you can't have as you can have and you can win that way ;) just not putting that person so high on a pedestal but maybe itd work maybe not lol im no asshole heheheh

Most Helpful Guy

  • So in other words, you grew up a bit and realized that looks are not everything, and it made you more successful with women? I fail to see where the problem is.

    • the problem is that now that i don't value looks that much, i'm also not into women that much anymore.

    • Show All
    • that's what i'm on the fence about. Even if i am, i would have liked it if i could get a hot girl just because i thought she was hot. because like i said, after finding that looks has little value, i'm not that into women anymore. my sex drive is MUCH lower and i would probably have to meet a woman truly unique and interesting for me to want to date her. this has nothing to do with growing older. how many super horny guys are on here who are in their thirties?

    • It's not about growing older, it's about becoming more mature. These two things are related, but not as closely as some haughty old people would have you believe.

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What Girls Said 1

  • that's pretty deep.

    do you mean you shouldn't put them on a pedestal?

    • not putting attractive women on a pedestal goes hand in hand with liking one for more than just her looks, but it's not the message i'm trying to get across.

What Guys Said 1

  • You need wisdom to know how to deal with each woman. You also must know that ultimately happiness comes from within.