Girlfriends work nigh out?

. My girlfriend has said how she wishes to go out with her colleagues at her work, who are all the same age and all male.

Personally if I was in her shoes I wouldn't see the same attraction to go out, especially with people she doesn't know that well. Is this strange?


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's a bit strange but then again you should trust her. Most of my friends are guys and when I have a boyfriend he'll have to accept that I'll hang out with them regularly. Likely she wants to bond a bit with her colleagues to fit in better and I think that's her motive of wanting to spend time with them. She wants to feel more connected with them on a friendship level. The fact that you say she doesn't know them well tells me she feels left out at work because they might all be close and then she's the odd one out.

    • Yeah the difference between your and the comment below, is that I do really trust my girlfriend, I do not fear being cheated on. I just wanted help to understand why she'd be so interested in that. But you have made it a bit more clear! Thank you!

Most Helpful Guy

  • I had a similar issue a few years ago with one of my girlfriends. She was used to going to hangout-parties with a lot of her friends who were all Japanese, the same as her. I usually couldn't go because I had work, but on the days that I didn't, I found myself still uninvited (could have gone but my girlfriend told me she was uninterest in my attending). So like any guy, I pitched a fit, thinking it wasn't right that my girlfriend was going to these parties without her boyfriend. Then it got worse when I realized that most (90%) of the people at these parties were guys. And it continued to get worse when some of my friends going to these parties informed me that a few of the guys there that wanted to hook up with her knowing she had a boyfriend. I talk to her about it and expressed my concern for her going to these parties. While I thought I was being reasonable, she informed me that I was stepping out of line a bit. I encouraged her to have me come and eventually I did go. Turns out, everyone there was casually drinking, as most Japanese do at these parties, but not like American parties. It was a clash in culture. The reason she didn't want me to go was because I didn't drink, and she didn't want me to feel awkward being around her friends who were drinking. She was more than happy for me to hang out with her and her friends, just not at these parties. Later, she could still feel my concern, so she insisted that I still drop her off and pick her up. I was invited, but still opted to not go because I wanted her to feel that I trusted her. The same is with the girl you're dating. It is putting a strain on your relationship. And where she doesn't see an issue, you do. It would be no different if the tables were turned. The truth is, she shouldn't be hanging out with just guys because she is in a relationship. Being in a relationship changes the dynamic of how we are in social settings. But if she insists on hanging out with these guys, you still need to address your distress and insist on at least meeting them. Why can't you hang out with them with her? Is she embarrassed that she can't invite her boyfriend along, that she can't act the same with you there? This overall is a difficult situation that you just need to roll with. Not every girl feels the same way, or has trouble recognizing the necessary changes in a relationship, as each one is different. And we are always learning. Communicate and work with her though your concerns.

    • I agree with you to an extent! Thanks for your input!

      If the shoe was on the other foot so to speak, personally I wouldn't have any interest in going out with my work mates if they were 95% female I'd want at least a mix of both genders.
      It's not I don't trust her I just find it hard to see why she wants to hang out with those lads...

    • Yeah, it's tough but you'll figure it out

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What Girls Said 1

  • Yes, its strange for you to feel that way, it's actaully jealousy. You don't want her going out with her male co-workers out of fear she's going to cheat on you. You have to trust your girlfriend. She needs to go out with them to build morale in the work place.

    If you're that nervous, offer to go with them & bring along some of your own friends. The more the merrier.

    • No actually I'm not worried she will do anything, I'm just curious as to why she wants to go out with them when they are all guys and usually she goes out with at least one or two female friends. Especially in this scenario when she doesn't know them that well.

    • I just answered this for you. You may not want to own it, but that is why, you have a underlying fear she's going to cheat on you.

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