I'm 21 and i'm a gentlemen. I got the personality of the 40 year old virgin guy but minus the fact i'm no virgin haha. I'm dating a 19 girl old girl. She mentioned she just got off an abusive relationship (this was a red flag). The thing is she's very cold. She doesn't treat me good. Sometines she makes me NOT feel like a men. I feel like i'm too soft/pussy for this girl. If i tell her not to do something because it's a bad idea she still does it. Also she likes to make me feel bad. For instance let's say you was dating a guy and this guy will tell you in public infront of many strangers "yeah babe you need to get bigger boobs" or "you need to loose weight" all in public. She will pull off similar stuff like that in that type of level. She's even said "You think your tough, but your not". She also claims she's a "virgin" so we haven't even slept and it's been 8 months of dating. All my friends told me she's using me until something better comes along or a "bad boy" comes along. They told me when this bad boy does show up he's going to beat her up and show her who's boss and she will instantly fall in love with that guy because she's already used to them type of men.
I'm no type to beat up girls/scream at em or a puzzy "bad boy". She knows i won't beat her up or treat her bad which is why she does this. Should i be tougher/threaten her oe just dump her? Some girls like this type of men. I already tried the talking to her nicely and she goes "your so sensitive".
Most Helpful Girl
She is obviously insecure and treats you like shit to make herself seem better, ditch her you sound like you deserve waaayyyy better and if she isn't making you happy, what is even there to stay for. You are basically with a bully and just because she is girl gives her no right to treat you like that.0
Most Helpful Guy
This doesn't sound good. I won't say dump her, because I don't like doing that with the little information I have. But it doesn't sound good. Too many red flags.
This is something maybe she needs more time to work out. Or maybe it's something deeply engrained and she'll never work it out. Either way I give some strong advice on these kind of things. You should never ever have a relationship that's conditional on them changing. Either you accept them the way they are, or you don't. You have to be honest with yourself. Expecting them to change is a huge mistake. Thinking that the relationship would be good "only if" they change is an even bigger mistake.
Having said that, you can't be who you aren't either. Treat her the way YOU would treat her, not how you imagine some bad boy treats her. If she's walking all over you and intentionally putting you down, you have to stand up to her. Same with anyone else you meet in your life. However you can't demand that she changes. All you can do is make it very clear that it's not acceptable. If she continues doing it, you have to consider if it's a deal breaker. If it's something you can't accept, then you have to walk. Do NOT expect her to change though.
Even if she shows signs or desire to change, it doesn't count until / if she actually does. That stuff can drag on for decades.
By the way. You should listen to your friends. They know the situation better than we do. It doesn't mean they are right, but you should listen.0